Selina Mandrake - The Slayer (Buffy Parody) - Who Should be the Cast? [satire]

Caught between Post-modernism and the New Age

Abstract

Selina Mandrake ( Emma Watson ) was a geeky Anglo-American girl in her high school senior year in 2011 California, who thought that the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer was fictional. However, one day she was approached by a mysterious goth man calling himself "The Guide" ( Wil Wheaton ) who told her that she was none other than Buffy Mageia, The Slayer, a legendary heroine who was destined to slay many notable vampires and demons, culminating in none other than The Master, the vampire with the oldest soul. See how she managed to do so, despite being completely non-violent, and even supportive of the demons she encountered.

This is a parody of the television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, while referencing other pieces of popular culture, and has many ties to my previous screenplay, Star Trek: “We, the Living Dead”. It’s far-fetched, but, on the other hand, conveys some serious messages and insights.

About

On this page, I would like to note who I think should be the cast for some of the characters of Selina Mandrake.

The Cast

Direction: Joss Whedon

Photo of Joss Whedon

I'd like Whedon to direct Selina because I feel it should be directed the same as the first three seasons of Buffy, before Faith was eliminated and the Scooby Gang graduated from high school, and Buffy likely became a soap opera. Anyway, while Buffy had very good special effects, the ones in Selina may be somewhat more cheesy.

I believe more directors can and should direct parodies and other fan fiction of their own works or franchises.

Selina Mandrake: Emma Watson

Photo of Emma Watson

I originally wrote this argument for choosing Ms. Watson there:

Well, Selina has to be an Englishwoman, right? Otherwise, I feel that Selina is similar enough to Hermione Granger to warrant Ms. Watson playing her. Furthermore, Keira Knightley plays the kind of females, who make the room miss a beat when they are seen, which isn't what I want for Selina, who should be the kind of girl that people should not feel intimated by.

I think it was not the complete story as Watson's life paralleled both my life as well as Kate Hampshire's (only she was often better equipped, either by her environment or by her own judgement, to avoid repeating some of my mistakes.)

The Guide: Wil Wheaton

Photo of Wil Wheaton

The Guide should be an American, a geek, and someone we love to hate (because he brings Selina so much trouble, and is the story’s main antagonist). He also can be somewhat older. I think Mr. Wheaton will be perfect for all this.

Prof. Kate Hampshire / Lady Kate Canterson: Gabrielle Anwar

Photo of Gabrielle Anwar

Anwar lights up the room on fire when she is seen, and she seems suitable for playing and narrating the voice of Kate. She also played Queen Anne in The Three Musketeers (1993 film), which was a completely dishonest film, so now I want her to go full circle and play the more real life version of Milady de-Winter, Kate Hampshire-Canterson.

Cardinal Richelieu: Patrick Stewart

Photo of Patrick Stewart from the English Wikipedia

I think Stewart resembles Richelieu enough and I once imagined that Richelieu (= “The Commander” in the old Selinaverse with the Bajoran gods/profiles) was eventually “reincarnated” and “reborn” as Patrick Stewart in a more recent life, who ended up playing an even more upgraded version of “The Commander”, Captain Jean-Luc Picard (a.k.a: “The Picard”). Finally, Capt. Picard is a Frenchman, just like Cardinal Richelieu.

General Guidelines

  1. Selina reflects my self: unathletic, insecure, rebellious, shalom-ful, pluralistic, conceit. She shares enough of my spiritual background to be dangerous.

    As usual with my characters, Selina is naïve and under-informed.

  2. Selina may not openly admit it, but she is the "Alpha Female" of her school.

  3. Neither Selina nor her boyfriend Matthew take their relationship too seriously. They have a relationship because their peers expect them to.

    That put aside, I imagined them getting involved in a more serious relationship some years later, and getting married.

  4. Selina, Jonathan, Jessica, and Matthew form a clique of friends.

  5. On the surface, Selina just wishes to lead an ordinary life. However, she secretly wants excitement, action, and being an influencer.

    When these materialise, however, she finds them ridiculous.

  6. I believe that Selina was not brought to clinical depression, and just found slaying increasingly discomforting and saddening.

  7. I'm thinking that the original version's main cast should be all black-haired / brown-haired, while having some statists and cameos with different hair colours.

    See this however.