The Earth Angel - English Text [satire]

TODO FILL IN

Abstract

A novella titled “The Earth Angel” in which a colloquial Black man in 2013 Los Angeles teaches a copyrights attorney all about life.

It seems that I found writing most of this redundant, due to Summerschool at the NSA and later Buffy: A Few Good Slayers, but I’m keeping what I have written so far of it for posterity in its preliminary state.

The Text

The Earth Angel


This is a fictional story that is being written by Shlomi Fish, and is original artwork.

It is made available under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence (CC-by-nc-sa)(or at your option - any later version).

See Shlomi Fish’s Copyright Terms Page for how to comply with this licence.

“You Will Meet the Earth Angel”

Dr. Alan Stein (Attn.) had not seen that side of Samantha before. As they sat there in the Chinese restaurant, two days before Ari, their system administrator, left for a trip to Israel, Samantha was emitting a lot of profanity, and sharing her frustrations of her life and the world. Dr. Stein was beginning to regret the fact that he had agreed to comply with Ari’s wishes, and invite her to lunch with them.

Samantha Rodriguez was the newest hire at Alan’s law firm - a brilliant attorney in her early thirties, who looked great, was always groomed, and got a lot of work done, despite the fact that she almost never stayed overtime, and also took many days off. One fly in the ointment was the fact that she was single, sexy, and kept asking her co-workers out on dates, or accepting their own invitations. As much as Dr. Stein agreed that she had been a good hire, he was desperately trying to avoid interacting with her.

“Anyway, I ended up telling my friend, Jasmine, who can be a real bitch sometimes, to fuck off, and deal with her troubled life herself. I simply ran out of patience.” she said.

“Bravo!” Ari said while clapping his hands. “By the way, Samantha, how did you become a lawyer?”

“Oh, that's a long story.” she said while playing with her fork.

“And we’ve got time to hear it, right Mr. Stein?”

“Yes, I guess we do.” Dr. Stein answered.

“Well, I studied Linguistics as my B.A.,” Samantha said “and by the time I graduated, my head was filled with vocabulary, and to a lesser extent - grammatical rules, my heart was broken from many heartbreaks, and I didn’t know what to do with the rest of my life. I ended up narrowing it to three options: 1. Find a paying job - as a programmer or whatever else I could land. 2. Stay in the academia, studying for a Masters and/or a Ph.D. and — 3. Go to law school. I figured out fucking Med School was never my thing.”

“Anyway, after consulting it with my friends, I became even less capable of knowing what to do. So I did the logical thing - I rolled a die.”

“A die?” Ari said.

“Yes, a ten-sided die or a 1d10 in role-playing game parlance. That’s usually what I use. It landed on the law school option, so that’s what I decided to pursue.” Samantha said.

“So, you placed your fate in the hand of chance?” Ari asked

“Yes, I did. Nothing wrong with doing that, if you ask me.”

“Well, everyone say you are an excellent attorney.” Ari noted.

“So they do.” Samantha said, “Maybe they are right.”

Then the waitress brought the receipt and along with it, three fortune cookies.

“Oooh good, fortune cookies” Samantha said. “I always reserve some space for them.”

“I’m too stuffed for that.” Stein said.

“Fair enough, I’ll eat yours too, let’s see what the fortunes say.” Ari said. “Mine says: ‘You will reach enlightenment.’ Hmmm…”

“Well, mine says, ” Samantha said “‘You will meet the love of your life.’ - I sure hope I will. And Mr. Stein, yours reads ‘You will meet an Earth Angel’”.

“Heh, judging by your looks, I think he already did.” Ari noted.

“Oh, give me a fucking break!” Samantha said, “For your information, that’s not what an Earth angel is all about.”

“Care to enlighten us?” Ari asked.

“Sure. OK, see, in the Hebrew Bible, which I read in Hebrew, by the way, the angels were just ordinary people, primarily male, but that’s because these were really sexist times, heh, who appeared as messengers of God to guide people in what they should do. And I have a story about my own Earth Angel.”

“I was thirteen and my family stayed in Indiana. One day I decided to ride my bicycle and eventually ride through the wilderness. It was a partly sunny, partly cloudy day. Then as I rode well into the city, I noticed a young boy - must have been eight or so, jumping around on the ground in a strange manner, so I asked him why he was doing that.”

“He replied: ‘I am practising my puddle skipping.’.”

“And I said: ‘Why? Is it going to rain soon?’.”

“And the boy answered: ‘That’s what they said in the forecast. Isn’t it great?’.” Samantha continued.

“So I thanks him, changed direction, and rode back home, and as I was close home, it indeed started to rain, so I arrived home a bit wet, but was safe at home, instead of getting stuck in the mud of the outskirt of that town.”

“We moved soon after that, and I never saw that boy again. But I’ve been thinking about him a lot, and he’s been haunting my consciousness. That boy was an Earth Angel. I ain’t a fucking one, really. I’m just a girl who wants to have a good time.”

“And a good time you certainly appear to be having.” Dr. Stein grumbled.

“Oh, give me a fucking break!” Samantha cried.

To be filled in.

“Hmmm…” Ari noted, “Maybe you did turn out to be an Earth Angel now.”

“Maybe I did.” Samantha replied.