Emma Watson Facts [possible satire]

Playing Hermione in the Harry Potter films was a dirty job, but Emma Watson got a shitload of money and worldwide recognition for doing it.

Emma Watson is not just acting in films for money. She is acting in films for a shitload of money.

If the miller had travelled to the market with Emma, they would have each rode their own donkey. Problem solved.

( See the Wikipedia page about the fable for the context. )

Emma Watson is not perfect, but she's really good at hiding her imperfections.

Emma Watson may not look too menacing with a wand in her hand. Until she uses it with great accuracy to poke both your eyes out.

If the mountain does not come to Emma Watson, she won’t bother visiting it. It would be the mountain’s loss, really.

Emma Watson does not have 10 years of experience in developing Enterprise Java software. However, she has over 10 years of experience in getting shit done - well, on schedule, and at a reasonable cost.

Fluttershy immediately stops crying when Emma Watson comes to visit her.

Emma Watson and you would make the best children. She'll provide the talent, good looks, and brains, while you provide the sperm. (Via Connor Pollock.)

It might seem preposterous to believe Emma Watson is the new Arnold Schwarzenegger, just because they were both Hollywood's best paid actors, and you would be right. Emma Watson is not the new Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But Arnold Schwarzenegger will forever be remembered as the old EMMA FUCKIN' WATSON!

You may have thought fan idolisation such as this one has destroyed Emma Watson's career. But a sexy actress (or actor) like her would have been "doomed" in the professional Hollywood no matter what. Instead, Emma now is actually relieved, and uses her earlier reputation to become a happier, sexier, and much more productive, amateur actress, who plays in roles she considers attractive no matter how unlike her traditional Hollywood image. She has enough self control to be pleasant and friendly most of the times, but if you're stretching her patience, she will get a little mad and you'll be surprised how insanely violent she can be.

Her opinions about Hollywood who gave her worse and worse treatment, not despite the fact, but because they paid her, can be unprintable if you like her to go that far, though she can easily be "scientific" and controlled about that too.

Hollywood will either switch to the amateur model - or implode with or without her help and the world will be a much better, happier, productive, and even more profitable, place.

Emma Watson played Hermione in the Harry Potter films, but she doesn’t need a wand to kick your ass.

“I can spell ‘Emma Watson’ easily enough, but how the hell do I spell ‘Kira Nightly’?”

“When I was your age, Emma Watson was called ‘Sarah Bernhardt’!”

“Whoa, dude! How old are you?”

If Emma Watson and Arnold Schwarzenegger were locked in a room alone, only Emma would come out alive. After she would break the door open.

Emma Watson never fights against men. It wouldn't be fair to them.

The safest world possible would be the one with only Emma Watson and you alive in it. Everybody else are just fluff.

Emma Watson will get out of bed for less than 200,000 USD per day. That is because she always gets out of bed, to seize the day, even if it is an idle one.

(Reference)

Emma Watson thinks men can be smarter than you would have thought.

When Emma Watson makes love to her significant other, they are both satisfied after the first kiss. But they carry on.

Emma Watson played Hermione in the Harry Potter films, but she doesn’t need a wand to kick your ass. On the other hand, when equipped with a wand, she'll be able to tear you down to small shreds.

Painfully!

When Emma Watson relocated to Tel Aviv, she didn't make aliyah to Israel. Israel made aliyah to her.