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Shlomi Fish’s Stories

Introduction

Here you can read novellas and screenplays that I have written, mostly humorous in part or in whole (but to quote Peter Ustinov, “Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious”). I have many much shorter works in the main section, including quotes, aphorisms, and factoids.

Note: many of my stories are not too realistic, and aim to reflect a better and more idealistic reality than the one many people would perceive. This is in part because, I am an idealist, and plan to remain so (but my idealism is dynamic and constantly changes), and wish that my words and deeds will carry reality forward instead of preserving the status quo.

List of Stories

The Enemy and How I Helped to Fight it

A political satire about the situation that prevailed in the Israeli-Lebanese border. Lots of exits about mathematical logic, and a general critique of the irrationality guiding political bodies.

A member of the terrorist organisation “The Organisation” gets up in the morning, goes to his post, and quits. But before he leaves, he makes a suggestion that makes his former comrades fight each other to death. Join the now ex‐Member of the Organisation as he embarks on an ego trip, where he tries to prove that A can in fact be not‐A, whether or not Aristotle would agree.

The One with the Fountainhead

A parody of Ayn Rand’s novel, The Fountainhead, modelled around a two part episode of the Television sitcom show Friends. Somewhat unhappy with the original book, the six friends in the show role-play their own version of The Fountainhead, while trying to improve upon it. Will they succeed?

What was the photo of the Parthenon replaced with?
Why was Chandler happy to play Peter Keating?
Which element is featured in every second-rate romantic novel?
Which piece of advice did Toohey give Dominique Francon?
Why did cruising with Gail Wynand turn out to be a bad idea?
And who were the bad guys in the story?

Read the screenplays to find out.

The Human Hacking Field Guide

A story about teenagers in Los Angeles, California, around 2005, who are dealing extensively with open-source development. An unlikely female software hacker (not a computer intruder) wannabe is getting tutored by an even more unlikely, but much more experienced, female software hacker.

Star Trek: We the Living Dead

In this fan episode of the Television show Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, we discover the true essence of the Q Continuum, and meet some “living dead”: conscious beings (including humans) who reportedly died, but actually were saved and still live a prosperous life some place else in the universe, as well as “vampires”: individuals who never died and have instead remained alive since they were born.

A Star Trek episode to end all Star Trek episodes, (and, more generally - story to end all stories).

Selina Mandrake - The Slayer (Buffy Parody)

A geeky Anglo-American girl in her high school senior year in 2011 California, finds out that she is none other than The Slayer, a legendary heroine who is destined to slay many notable vampires and demons, culminating in none other than The Master, the vampire with the oldest soul. See how she manages to do so, despite being completely non-violent, and even supportive of the demons she encounters.

This screenplay, a parody and reflection on Buffy the Vampire Slayer (both the movie and the show) and inspired by many other sources, is still under work, but is already in a usable state.

Summerschool at the NSA - A Screenplay

The Hollywood actresses Sarah Michelle Gellar (of Buffy fame) and Summer Glau (of xkcd notability) conspire to kick the ass of the NSA (= the United States government’s National Security Agency), while using special warfare that is completely non-violent. Two attractive, intelligent, and resourceful women against a large, inefficient, federal government organisation whose estimated annual budget is several times their combined worth. Does the NSA actually stand a chance?

This screenplay is surrealistic realism and takes place in the spring-summer of 2013 - very farfetched, but could happen.

The Earth Angel

A novella titled “The Earth Angel” in which a colloquial Black man in 2013 Los Angeles teaches a copyrights attorney all about life. My own modernisation of Atlas Shrugged in 2013’s funky way.

The Pope Died on Sunday

Rachel Southern, an American graphic artist who lives and works in Milwaukee, did not expect the week following the death of the Roman Catholic Pope to be particularly notable for her, but boy was she wrong!

From meeting a guy she really liked, to her best friend almost ruining a date with him, to her family coming to visit, to helping organise a “fashion-play”, to thinking about the answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything — Rachel’s week proved to be one of the most hectic in her life.

This story is still incomplete, and only a relatively small part of it has been written.

Humanity

A parody about humanity and modern life in particular. Humanity describes a day in the life of a Semitic city circa 500 B.C.. Work in progress.

The Blue Rabbit Log

Screenplays for a series of crazy comedy films parodying Fantasy Role-Playing Games. Join the band of the player characters called “The Blue Rabbit Adventuring Company”, as they journey in the imaginary role-playing world, and their struggles and encounters with monsters, the non-player characters, their players, and... the Game Master! (Muahahahahaha).

Work in progress.