Ways to do it According to the Programming Languages of the World [possible satire]

Perl - There’s more than one way to do it.

C++ - There are 5 ways to do it, 3 out of which are not supposed to work.

Visual Basic - The only way to do it is to use a third party component.

C - There is usually one way to do it, but there’s more than one way to optimise it.

Java - There’s barely one way to do it. (But as opposed to C++ it is guaranteed to work.)

Python - There’s only one way to do it. The one true way of doing it. And then there are others.

COBOL - The only way to do it is to use something else.

Common LISP - There is an infinite series of ways to do it, increasing in elegance, and decreasing in legibility.

Scheme - There are several ways to do it, but you have to chart all of them yourself.

Haskell - You can think of any number of ways to do it, but only one will have a reasonable time or space complexity.

Forth - There are several ways to write it, but no way to read it.

HTML - There are many ways to do it. Most of them should be avoided at all costs, and the other ones should better be generated with something else.

The C Preprocessor - There’s not supposed to be a way to do it.

Fortran - There isn’t a way to do it... oh wait! Now there is.

Bash - There are several ways to do it. Now one has to find a way to decide which way to do it.

C Shell - The only way to do it does not work.

zsh - There’s at least one way to do anything.

“There are too many ways to do it”

“I’m the Real Tim Toady”