While it had earlier occurrences, I derive this piece of wisdom from Saladin, a Muslim king and conqueror of Kurdish descent who is known for being one of the most effective warriors, and one of the most noble and merciful people in history.
During Saladin's time Palestine which is also known as "The Land of Israel" or "The Holy Land" was ruled and terrorised by Christian conquerors (e.g: the Knights Templar ). These were Christian fighters who originated from Europe, who were psychotic, psychopathological, vicious, sadistic, and vandals, who would have put the Nazis much less today's Al-Qaeda or ISIL to shame, and harmed the civilians in Palestine and were feared by them.
Saladin acquired a large army of loyal warriors, who all joined him by choice, had superior swords to those of the Christians, and lighter armour, and he set out to release Palestine from them fortress by fortress. But the most amazing thing is that he told the Christians something like that:
You can fight me or you can surrender. The choice is yours. Do what you want, you don't have to do what you think you must. If you choose to surrender, I will spare your life, disarm you and let you walk to Christian-controlled territory. If you choose to fight, I will try my best not to kill or harm you (but do note that protecting my troops is my priority), and then swear you not to fight me any more, and let you walk to Christian-controlled territory.
I trust you will make the right decision and entrust you with power. Whatever your choice will be, I'll accept it.
While some crusaders were probably killed, many of them survived and became happy, sane, and while ostensibly Christian, unwilling to fight Saladin. Even if their religious leaders told them to return, Saladin told them he is OK with the oath breaking and said he'll fight them again. This caused his opponents to fight extremely poorly, and be quickly disarmed. Following that, they learned their lesson, and would not fight Saladin again.
By letting people do what they want, they will likely do the best thing they can do. This is management by not managing and parenting by not parenting, which is and always was the best way.