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Introduction

These are collections of quotes in the UNIX fortune format which I collected, and that can be used with the UNIX fortune program. Most of the quotes here are funny, and the rest are such that I found especially enlightening, and/or could not find in the other fortune collections.

They have been converted to a custom XML-based grammar, based on XML-Grammar-Fortune .

View and Download

• EPUB eBook - (free download).

• These fortunes in a tar.gz file

• The Sources Files List

• Random fortune

• Individual HTML pages for the fortune collection:

  • shlomif (XML, Plaintext) - Collection of my own quotes.

  • shlomif-fav (XML, Plaintext) - Favourite quotes from various sources.

  • bbt (XML, Plaintext) - Quotes from the scripts of the T.V. show The Big Bang Theory.

  • friends (XML, Plaintext) - Quotes from the scripts of the T.V. show Friends. They cover the first three seasons.

  • joel-on-software (XML, Plaintext) - Quotes from the Joel on Software site.

  • nyh-sigs (XML, Plaintext) - Collection of quotes found in the signatures of Nadav Har’El, as collected using an automated script.

  • osp_rules (XML, Plaintext) - “The Rules of Open-Source Programming”. Also check a discussion of it on Advogato.

  • paul-graham (XML, Plaintext) - Quotes from the essays and writings of Paul Graham.

  • subversion (XML, Plaintext) - Excerpts from the online Subversion folklore.

  • tinic (XML, Plaintext) - The ultimate collection of reasons why “there is no IGLU cabal”, and other Israeli Linux on-line folklore.

  • sharp-perl (XML, Plaintext) - A collection of conversations from Freenode’s #perl .

  • sharp-programming (XML, Plaintext) - A collection of conversations from Freenode’s ##programming .

  • shlomif-factoids (XML, Plaintext) - A collection of factoids about people and things (e.g: Chuck Norris).

• All in One HTML Page (large).

Commentary and Disclaimer

Please report any typos or inaccuracies to me by E-mail. The quotations here are owned by their respective copyright holders, and come with no warranty of any kind.

Licence

As far as Shlomi Fish, who is collecting and maintaining these quotes, is concerned, this collection of fortune cookies is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0 (CC-by-sa) Unported (or at your option any later version of that licence). However, as noted earlier, these fortune cookies were collected from various sources, many of them are not original or under incompatible or “All Rights Reserved” licences, and some of them (like the many IRC conversations there) contain text by many authors. So one should take care.

If you feel any of these quotes is doing you damage, and you wish it to be removed or modified, then contact Shlomi Fish and he’ll see what he can do.

Links

Technical Links

• XML-Grammar-Fortune - Perl 5/CPAN and XSLT code to convert the XML to XHTML and to plaintext.

Other Fortune Cookies Collections

• splitbrain.org’s Fortunes - contains fortunes from the X Files, Disc World, Forrest Gump, Star Wars, The Simpsons, and the Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy.
• Eric S. Raymond’s Fortunes - quotes about individual rights, and some from the comedian Stephen Wright.
• Fortunes from the Hackers’ Jargon File
• Humorix’s Fortunes - including Linux slogans, quotes from Linus Torvalds and others, brief Microsoft jokes, and some portions of their articles.
• The Complete Marc A. Volovic Flames Collection - Another Linux-IL folklore...
• Fortunes-random - a collection of random fortune cookies.
• The #kernelnewbies fortune file - a collection of funny or amusing Linux kernel development related quotes.
• KatSpace Quotes in Fortune Format.
• Collection of French Fortunes - a collection of fortunes in French by Nanardon.
• Infodrom Fortune Cookies - On Infodrom we collect a bunch of fortune cookies which we extract from real live conversation, Usenet postings (mail and news) and IRC channels. We don’t believe they are funny, others do. However, some of them may be funny.
• Fortune file with Jack Bauer facts
• IRC Excerpts from queen.borg.ch
• pep-talk - a fortune file with pep talk quotes from Halls cough drops wrappers.
• “The Tao of Unix Programming” - enhanced fortune program with ANSI terminal colours, by Walter Stanish, on GitHub. Can export to a fortune-compatible collection.
• Fortune cookies from the Television show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - on GitHub.
• shlomif-email-signature - contains a fortune file of signature quotes (not maintained as XML in order to have better control of the outputted text).

Web Feeds

• RSS 2.0 feed
• Atom feed for these fortunes (does not validate)

Keep track of the newest ones added using a Web-Feed Reader/Aggregator (see a list on the Wikipedia).

Credits

• Fortune Cookie SVG image taken from the Open Clipart's Glitch game collection under CC0/public domain.