Queen Padmé Tales: Let's Take It Over With - Ongoing Text [satire]
Why can’t we have them all?
Abstract
Objective
This ambitious series of screenplays breaks a long-time taboo against writing Star Wars and Star Trek crossovers, but also aims to make the case for commercial yet free/open (Creative Commons / etc.) fan fiction / crossovers / real person fiction (see e.g: Our mission statement) and screenplays written in easier to write formats than the draconian, finicky, and boring, Hollywood-blessed format.
Abstract
While the birth parents of Queen Padmé Amidala of the Naboo of the Selinaverse (Tiffany Alvord , b. 1992) were killed in a starship crash when she was 1 years old, she was adopted by her aunt, the Duchess Elizabeth Amidala (Natalie Portman), and her aunt's husband, Darth Vader, who volunteered to act as King in effect until Padmé's coming of age. As a result, Padmé had a happy childhood until she turned 18 at 2010 and was ready to become the bona fide monarch of Naboo.
Padmé already learned enough about managing a planet country by volunteering to help Vader, and he encouraged her to do so. On the surface, she is happy:
She is the richest person in Naboo and one of the richest women in the galaxy.
She has enough free time to contribute on Internet content and code sharing sites.
She has many supporting friends, including her boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker (Jake Coco), a promising jedi-wannabe, who is about her age, and with aspirations for joining the mysterious but revered jedi order of Siths, of which only Vader and Emperor Palpatine are the known extant members.
In practice, though, there is the Sword of Damocles:
Critics on online publications and social media who are unhappy with every choice she makes.
A poorly executed takeover attempt by a “real life” celebrity (Emma Watson) thought to be flawless.
Her boyfriend being so busy with his studies that he becomes awfully laconic even in his emails.
Her spirit friends, who are animated characters from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and other fantastical universes, who appear at the seemingly least desirable moments, and whom everyone can see, hear, photograph, and record, but whom many people believe are some kind of trick.
And her biggest pet peeve: her positive bank balance which keeps getting larger, despite her many attempts to reduce it.
Let's Take It Over With
Node LinkAbout this screenplay
Node LinkNextObjective
Node LinkNext[ An illustrated screenplay crossing Star Wars Ep. I, the original Star Wars trilogy, the Selinaverse (itself crossing Star Trek TNG/DS9, Buffy, Judaism, Israel, Objectivism, etc.) the real world online/offline life in 2010s/2020s, Spaceballs, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
This screenplay is not written in the Hollywood blessed format because good hackers (= resourceful and rule bending heroes) which include the talented actors and actresses in this film can withstand reading a raw and non-CSS-styled XHTML5 file. That - and hackers like me do not have the time to massage a screenplay into Hollywood's whimsical format only to be rejected, rinse and repeat. ]
Licence
PrevNode LinkNext[ Emblem:
This text is Copyright by Shlomi Fish , 2020 and is made available under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 Unported Licence (CC-by) (or at your option - any later version). ]
Dedication
PrevNode Link[ The Dedication:
TODO: FILL IN. ]
Main scene
PrevNode LinkNextMystery Woman for Naboo's Crown
Node LinkNext[ Padmé is sitting in her office next to her desktop computer. ]
[ Padmé looks at a mirror on her desk, and does some last-minute facial-looks arrangements.
Emma Watson enters the frame. ]
[ Cut to the office of Daniel, Padmé's cousin and legal advisor. ]
Campaigning
PrevNode LinkNext[ Showing Emma Watson’s Twitter page. ]
Emma Watson's Health Diagnosis
PrevNode LinkNext[ Showing the 1 kilometre high hospital building in planet Trill.
Cut to a room there. Padmé, Julian Bashir, Jadzia Dax, Deanna Troi, and George the Cat are there. ]
Talk with Enyos
PrevNode LinkNext[ Padmé's computer says "Initiating Selinaverse⬄Beckyverse bridge" and after a while shows Enyos' face wearing a straw hat and a smaller live recording of Emma Watson of the Beckyverse. ]
Proving Padmé Will Probably Win
PrevNode LinkNextThe Possessing Spirit
PrevNode Link[ An amorphous blob gets out of Emma Watson's body. Discord, dressed as Sherlock Holmes appears and cages it. ]
[ Looks at the caged blob. ]
[
( Crying Pinkie Pie. ) ]
[ Fluttershy emerges. ]
Gul Dukat and Chris Grimmie Live on meta-Planet-1
PrevNode Linkwrapper
Node Link[ The Death Star approaches Planet Naboo.
Split screen with Padmé to the left, and Gul Dukat and Chris Grimmie in the Death Star to the right. ]
[ The Death Star fires. The Laser rays bounce off between the surfaces of Naboo and the Death Star. A portal opens to meta-Planet-1, a gigantic planet with a large audience of spectators covering its surface, and Naboo and the Death Star float in its air. ]
[ Dukat shows a 100 dollar bill. ]
[ The rays start playing but then stop. ]
[ Split frame with Cookie Monster, Fluttershy, Discord, and Emma Watson - all wearing aprons, and baking cookies. ]
[ The concert starts.
The upgraded Enterprise-D gets out of warp. William T. Riker and Gabriela Bee are on its bridge. ]
[ The Enterprise emits drum sounds. Grimmie and the rest thumbs up. ]
[ Cut to view of Naboo's capital. Darth Vader is watching the concert streamed from the Internet. ]