Queen Padmé Tales (Star Wars / Star Trek / Real Life Crossover) [possible satire]

Why can’t we have them all?

Abstract

Objective

This ambitious series of screenplays breaks a long-time taboo against writing Star Wars and Star Trek crossovers, but also aims to make the case for commercial yet free/open (Creative Commons / etc.) fan fiction / crossovers / real person fiction (see e.g: Our mission statement) and screenplays written in easier to write formats than the draconian, finicky, and boring, Hollywood-blessed format.

Abstract

While the birth parents of Queen Padmé Amidala of the Naboo of the Selinaverse (Tiffany Alvord , b. 1992) were killed in a starship crash when she was 1 years old, she was adopted by her aunt, the Duchess Elizabeth Amidala (Natalie Portman), and her aunt's husband, Darth Vader, who volunteered to act as King-in-effect until Padmé's coming-of-age. As a result, Padmé had a happy childhood until she turned 18 at 2010 and was ready to become the bona fide monarch of Naboo.

Padmé already learned a lot about managing a planet country by volunteering to help Vader, and he encouraged her to do so. On the surface, she is happy:

  • She is the richest person in Naboo and one of the richest women in the galaxy.

  • She has enough free time to contribute on Internet content and code sharing sites.

  • She has many supporting friends, including her boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker (Jake Coco), a promising jedi-wannabe, who is about her age, and with aspirations for joining the mysterious but revered jedi order of Siths, of which only Vader and Emperor Palpatine are the known extant members.

In practice, though, there is the Sword of Damocles:

  • Critics on online publications and social media who are unhappy with every choice she makes.

  • A poorly-executed takeover attempt of the Naboo crown, by a “real life” celebrity (Emma Watson) thought to be flawless.

  • Her boyfriend being so busy with his studies, that he becomes awfully laconic even in his emails.

  • Her spirit friends, who are animated characters from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and other fantastical universes, who appear at the seemingly least desirable moments, and whom everyone can see, hear, photograph, and record, but whom many people believe are some kind of trick.

  • And her biggest pet peeve: her positive bank balance which keeps getting larger, despite her many attempts to reduce it.

Read Online

Sources

Sources of Inspiration

Licensing

This work uses some characters and concepts from real life, from other copyrighted works, and from works that are already Public Domain.

All the text in Queen Padmé Tales is original, and as far as I’m concerned can be used under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution licence Unported (CC-by) (either version 4.0, or at your option any later version), but like I said, the situation is more complicated than that.

Questions and Answers

What's the deal with the photo of the tacos?

They are a reference to the "Porque no los dos" / "Can't we have both?" meme which originated in a commercial for Tacos. A friend told me about the meme, and it proved to be a catalyst for the first scene, and an inspiration for the general Universalist and pluralist tangent to the series.

I found the tacos photo (by jeffreyw) in a Flickr search and it was both high-quality, depicted tacos with many toppings, and was under an acceptable Creative Commons licence. As a result, I decided to use it as a logo.