Announcing “HTML 6”, the New Version of the Web [possible satire]

1 April, 2015, Tel Aviv, Israel: Today, the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) announced the immediate availability of the new version of the web — HTML 6 — pronounced “HTML Sicks [sic]” with the motto “HTML 6 is sick!”. “We concluded that the previous version of the World Wide Web’s standards suite, HTML5, has exceeded its flexibility and usability, and we need to start over”, said Tim Berners-Lee, the director of the W3C.

HTML Sicks will offer many exciting new features and innovations over HTML5 that will make the lives of web developers easier than ever before. Among these new features are:

1. The markup will be converted from being SGML/XML-like to being JSON-like.

2. CSS (= Cascading Style Sheets) will be replaced with XSS (Cross-site-scripting).

3. The mandated version of the underlying HTTP protocol (= “Hyped Text Transfer Protocol”) will be HTTP/6.0, also known as “Transmission Control Protocol” or “TCP” for short.

4. HTML 6 will offer PHP as a built-in client-side scripting language in addition to JavaScript, for an exciting full-stack development environment in PHP.

5. For making migrations from legacy apps easier, HTML 6 will support Graphical User Interface (GUI) development using the Windows API, in C, using the Microsoft Visual C++ compiler.

The W3C and the “HTML 6” development team recommend that everyone convert their web sites to the new version as soon as possible.

This document is Copyright by Shlomi Fish, 2015, and is available under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-ShareAlike License 3.0 Unported (or at your option any later version). The logo is based on “File:HTML5 logo and wordmark.svg” from the Wikimedia Commons licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported. The logo’s modified SVG source was edited using Inkscape.

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