Shlomi Fish’s Humorous Collections of Facts [possible satire]

These are additions to the Chuck Norris facts trend by my Internet friends and by me. Most of them are geeky (or even computer geeky), but some are more generic.

Reading from the wikipedia page:

Chuck Norris “facts” are satirical factoids about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The “facts” are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris’ toughness, attitude, virility, sophistication, and masculinity.

Facts about Buffy Summers, the main protagonist of the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as created by Joss Whedon and portrayed by Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Facts about Clarissa Darling, the protagonist of the show Clarissa Explains It All, as created by Mitchell Kriegman and played by Melissa Joan Hart.

Emma Watson is a 1990-born British creator, activist, actress, and model, who rose to fame playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films, and (quoting from the Wikipedia page):

In October 2013, she was voted Sexiest Female Movie Star in a worldwide poll conducted by Empire magazine. In May 2014, BuzzFeed dubbed her the “most flawless woman of the decade”.

Don Knuth (born 1938) is a professor Emeritus of Computer Science at Stanford University, and is the creator of TeX, inventor of several important algorithms and author of The Art of Computer Programming.

These facts explain why he isn’t God, but pretty close.

Larry Wall (born 1954) is the creator of the Perl programming language, and the inventor of the patch program, and of the rn newsreader. These facts illustrate his “hacky” (= rule bending) awesomeness.

The NSA is the United States’ National Security Agency, a cryptologic intelligence agency. These facts show why the NSA is a paper tiger, and a money sink, and why it should not be feared.

Summer Glau (born 1981) is a Hollywood actress best known for playing River Tam in Firefly and Cameron, a Terminator, in the Television series The Sarah Connor Chronicles. She is also notable for being featured in the online comics, xkcd, and for being featured as a fictional version of herself in the realistic, political, fan-fiction, screenplay, Summerschool at the NSA.

Glau is notable for being the first non-fictional and real-life female, who is the subject of such facts here.

Facts about Taylor Swift, a 1989-born American singer-songwriter, who is known for her narrative songs, her extravagant music videos, her philanthropy, and the rich culture of YouTubers who cover, parody, and remix her songs.

Windows Update is a service offered by Microsoft to update components of its software.

These facts illustrate how horribly slow Windows Update is and how it is annoying to use.

After reading the Wikipedia page about Chuck Norris Facts (and related facts), I was saddened to learn that there were none about females. So, in the name of gender equality, a collection of facts about Xena, the Warrior Princess was created.

I recall watching the show and enjoying it, though I found it a little silly. I also found the character of Xena to be more comical than strong.

XSLT is short for Extensible Stylesheet Language (XSL) Transformations and is an XML-based language for transforming XML documents into other XML documents.

These facts illustrate how evil XSLT (supposedly) is.

I think XSLT has many legitimate uses and can be pretty sweet, but an IRC conversation we had on ##programming started this meme and it seems cool.

Additions to the In Soviet Russia… (or “Soviet reversal”) meme by my friends and me.