Ape of Death: Shut up! Now you shall burn! You and your wife with the ridiculous hair.
Vince Noir: Ridiculous hair? Have you seen yours? It’s like split-ends-central!
Ape of Death: Shut up!
Vince Noir: Well look at it - it’s an Urban Fuzz.
Ape of Death: Shut your gub!
Vince Noir: You look ridiculous - it's like a ginger ball bag.
Ape of Death: Shut up I say! [ Rises up. ]
Ape of Death: I’ve always had problems with my hair. Even as a child. It’s not curly, it’s not straight. It’s somewhere in between. If I wash it, it becomes too dry, if I lead [ ? ] it, it become too greasy.
Ape of Death: I can't do a thing with it.
Vince Noir: Listen, there are hair products - straighteners, finishing gel.
Ape of Death: Finishing gel? What is finishing gel?
Vince Noir: Where have you been. I could sort your hair out in six minutes.
Ape of Death: Why didn’t you tell me about this? Davy? Nemo?
[ The two Mandrill guards lower their gazes ]
Ape of Death: You can do this for me?
[ Cut. Message on the screen - “Six Minutes Later” ]
Ape of Death: This is sheer liquid wonderment. For this smashing gift, I shall set you both free. Thank you.
Vince Noir: Don’t thank me, thank Naboo’s Miracle Wax.
Ape of Death: Look at me. I’m so confident, and feel strong and super-sexy.
Ape of Death: Hit it!
Ape of Death: [Singing] I'm the Ape of Death and I don't care, cause I'm the monkey with the lovely hair.
Ape of Death: It's all fluffy and shiny too cause I got that Miracle Wax from Naboo.
Ape of Death: Don't be cynical!
Ape of Death: It's a particle Miracle!
Ape of Death: I said "don't be cynical!"
Ape of Death: I get waxin' Miracle!
Ape of Death: He's the Ape of Death and he don't care, cause he's the monkey with the lovely hair.
Ape of Death: Look around my monkey hair, you can touch it, I don't care…
Ape of Death: Come on everybody and walk around my hair.
Author | The Mighty Boosh |
Work | The Mighty Boosh - “The Ape of Death” Scene |
Published | 2014-10-03 |