The Mighty Boosh: The Ape of Death Scene - Fortune [possible satire]

Ape of Death: Shut up! Now you shall burn! You and your wife with the ridiculous hair.

Vince Noir: Ridiculous hair? Have you seen yours? It’s like split-ends-central!

Ape of Death: Shut up!

Vince Noir: Well look at it - it’s an Urban Fuzz.

Ape of Death: Shut your gub!

Vince Noir: You look ridiculous - it's like a ginger ball bag.

Ape of Death: Shut up I say! [ Rises up. ]

Ape of Death: I’ve always had problems with my hair. Even as a child. It’s not curly, it’s not straight. It’s somewhere in between. If I wash it, it becomes too dry, if I lead [ ? ] it, it become too greasy.

Ape of Death: I can't do a thing with it.

Vince Noir: Listen, there are hair products - straighteners, finishing gel.

Ape of Death: Finishing gel? What is finishing gel?

Vince Noir: Where have you been. I could sort your hair out in six minutes.

Ape of Death: Why didn’t you tell me about this? Davy? Nemo?

[ The two Mandrill guards lower their gazes ]

Ape of Death: You can do this for me?

[ Cut. Message on the screen - “Six Minutes Later” ]

Ape of Death: This is sheer liquid wonderment. For this smashing gift, I shall set you both free. Thank you.

Vince Noir: Don’t thank me, thank Naboo’s Miracle Wax.

Ape of Death: Look at me. I’m so confident, and feel strong and super-sexy.

Ape of Death: Hit it!

Ape of Death: [Singing] I'm the Ape of Death and I don't care, cause I'm the monkey with the lovely hair.

Ape of Death: It's all fluffy and shiny too cause I got that Miracle Wax from Naboo.

Ape of Death: Don't be cynical!

Ape of Death: It's a particle Miracle!

Ape of Death: I said "don't be cynical!"

Ape of Death: I get waxin' Miracle!

Ape of Death: He's the Ape of Death and he don't care, cause he's the monkey with the lovely hair.

Ape of Death: Look around my monkey hair, you can touch it, I don't care…

Ape of Death: Come on everybody and walk around my hair.

AuthorThe Mighty Boosh
WorkThe Mighty Boosh - “The Ape of Death” Scene
Published2014-10-03