Misbehaving Printers - Fortune [possible satire]

cousteaudamn printer... it's made like 4 fubared copies
cousteaujamming all the time, having to remove an accordion-shaped paper each time
cousteauturns out there was another sheet jammed, but it was hidden and the printer wasn't detecting it
pulsei wonder if printers will still jam paper in the year 3000
pulsemaybe it's a paradox of physics
pulsea fluke in nature
`GinI think its more down to the fact printer companies have been milking their cash cow dry, £10 in R&D each year. etc.
pulsemaybe some day paper will become obsolete, then there will be no problem any more
`GinThere are still employees at my job who would prefer to print an email out, read it and then reply to the email.
`GinI don't have much hope for that dream pulse :P
pulsethat's just stupid :P
cousteaupulse, how in the hell would printers work BETTER in the future?
cousteauthe more intelligent they become, the more stupid things they'll do!
cousteauthe machine rebellion will start with printers, it's a known fact
koollmanI suppose the equivalent of paper jam with a 3d printer can get really messy
cousteauheh
koollman"we cannot access the printer, it is inside a large blob of solidified plastic"
koollman"the first maintenance team went in, but that was 2 days ago, and we are preparing a rescue mission"
pulsemaybe they could produce the paper in the process
pulsemaybe they'll print you a hologram
pulselol
cousteaukoollman, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grey_goo
koollmancousteau: yes, but that one would auto-reproduce, which is much more scary ;)
koollmanalthough I guess a very advanced printer could print itself, it's the goal of reprap-like systems
pulsenothing a giant EMP wave wouldn't fix
rindolfkoollman: heh.
cousteaumaybe the 3D printer accidentally gets programmed with printing a 3D copy of itself, and that copy turns out to be already programmed with the same program
pulsehaha
cousteau3D printer fork bomb!
koollman:)
rindolfHeh.
keepsakeAh, replicators.
* koollmanremembers actually using a postscript 'bomb'
cousteau...as an unrelated note, the :(){... forkbomb doesn't work on the `dash` interpreter
cousteauit says that : is not a valid function name
cousteauso you can fool your friends by trying to convince them that the forkbomb doesn't work
koollmancousteau: that's not to hard to modify, although the result will be less obscure. or is it that it doesn't support recursion ?
cousteaukoollman, replace : with F and you have a working one
koollmanOK, so just the character is forbidden as a name. a bit sad
cousteauor with _
koollman_ works, it's still quite hard to read :)
cousteauwith _, if you tilt your head, it looks like a toilet on top of a tree
pulsethat's some vivid imagination
wei2912lol
cousteauor a chair or something
koollmanpulse: shell programming may have unexpected side-effects ;)
pulselike waking up in a mental asylum
pulse? :)
koollmannah. But I do remember making very bad jokes about zombie processes, reapers and clones
pulsehmm
koollmanI woke up as a sysadmin, too. that may partially qualify
pulselol
Channel##programming
NetworkFreenode
TaglineI blame Gutenberg
Published2013-08-08