How to get a Job? - Fortune [possible satire]

Myrl-sakiI'd accept any job offered to me on the spot, probably.
thechaMyrl-saki try to get a short internship - preferably paid
FAMASthecha: your reply is not made from a global point of view
Myrl-sakiAs long as it's not Java.
thechaand if you do 3 or so of them you are bound to be handed a job if you ask for on e at the end of them
sbrgsure
Myrl-sakilol
thechajust make a good impression: be pleasant to be around with, be on time, be diligent in your work, try to make your work better every day
sbrgHow to get a job with a cs degree in Denmark: 1. get degree 2. get job
thechaif you work in this way you will make yourself very valuable to your company and they wont let you leave
Myrl-sakisbrg: lol
thechaMyrl-saki so i guess move to denmark
Myrl-sakithecha: First step. Obtain a job.
thechano first step obtain internships
thecha:D
Myrl-sakithecha: First step. Obtain internship.
sbrgHow to get a job: 1. get a job for 5 years for 5 years of experience. 2. get a job easily because you have 5 years of experience.
sbrgeasy!
Myrl-sakisbrg: lol
thechathe job you get for the 5 years of exp does it require 5 years exp?
sbrgyes.
Myrl-sakilol
Myrl-sakiSo true.
sbrgthecha: no, sorry
sbrgmisread
sbrgit requires 10 years of experience
thechawell no problem then, just get a previous job for 5 years for every new job you get
thechawhat kind of experience are you getting at work anyway?
sbrghow to get a job: 1. solve the halting problem. 2. write a program that, given a job and an application you have written, terminates if you will be hired. 3. run halting problem solver on program for all jobs/applications 4. ??? 5. Profit
Myrl-sakisbrg: Lol.
sbrgHow to solve your unemployment issue: 1. create skynet 2. die at the hands of skynet 3. there are no humans so there are no jobs so by vacuous truth everyone has a job
rindolfsbrg: heh.
sbrgI'm full of good solutions today
sbrgif I could only solve this deadlock issue
Channel##programming
NetworkFreenode
Published2015-11-28