Shlomi Fish's Quotes as Fortunes Cookies

I don't Believe in Fairies

I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

The prefix "God Said"

The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of converting any statement that follows it into a true one.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

A Jewish Deduction

A Jewish Deduction

The Bible dictates that "Thou shalt not seethe [= cook] a kid [= young goat] in his mother's milk." To avoid any possibility of breaking that regulation, the Jewish tradition ruled that it also applies to female goats, to mature goats, and to the meat and milk of two completely unrelated goats. It is also forbidden to eat the meat with fresh milk, and it applies to beef and mutten as well (including mixing the milk and meat of two different beasts). Finally, chicken, which are incapable of milk production, may not be eaten along with any mammal's milk either.

We are fortunate that most mathematicians were not Jewish. Otherwise, it would have been forbidden to divide by all numbers between -1 and 1.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

I Used to be Arrogant

I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect.

Work

Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Murphy's Law

If the ancient Greeks had invented UNIX, Murphy's Law would have been known as Aristotle's Law.

Had they invented MS-Windows, Murphy's Law would have been known as the Law of Socrates.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Microsoft's Slogan

Microsoft's slogan used to be "Microsoft - making it all make sense."

Today it should be: "Microsoft - making everything make sense. Ours."

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Linux - Because Software Problems...

Linux - Because Software Problems Should not Cost Money.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

The American Lottery

The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will take the dollar, but you can keep the dream.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"Shit Happens" - 1

"Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world (Deltas by Shlomi Fish)

Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes you take the blame for it anyways.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Shit Happens - 2

"Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world
(Deltas by Shlomi Fish)

Judaism: God is all the shit, all the non-shit and all the intermediate demi-shits in between.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Interpret the Past

Let's interpret the past according to the present and not the present according to the past.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Computer Science and C Programming

"Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes"

Edsgar W. Dijkstra

"Programming Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about stars."

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Sarah Michelle Gellar's Next Movie

[Discussing the shortage of IT workers as of 1998 on E-mail]

Shlomi Fish to Omer Zak: "Even the NSA doesn't have enough programmers. But it is not likely that they will have more and that's because 'Summerschool at the NSA' may might as well be the name of Sarah Michelle Gellar's next movie."

Omer Zak to Shlomi Fish: "And as opposed to 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' it is going to be scary."

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Objective Philosophy…

Objective philosophy is like a pencil sharpener for one's mind.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" - 1

Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream.

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" - 2

Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad.

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 3

"Except for that, I planned a political simulator that forecast the two World Wars after I entered all the relevant data until the year 1000 AD."

"Do you have a computer at home?"

"Oh no. At present the program is written on a paper. Don't ask how much time it took me to take out all the bugs from it. But it was great fun!"

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it"
Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 4

"Likewise." Added the interviewer and said: "Your answers were also very ... unusual."

"Although this description cannot testify on their quality, I take it as a compliment."

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 4

The government of the Supporter will finance your travel, and you will be able to leave tomorrow morning. We would like to inform you of the following facts: we cannot assure your safety during this travel. Furthermore, despite your long service at the Organization and your constructive proposal, we cannot say, wholeheartedly or halfheartedly, that we wish to protect your safety. Likewise, we cannot guarantee that we would not take actions that may harm you, indirectly or in a direct manner.

We hope to see you here very soon.

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 5

"Okay, I think that I can now return to my country and my village. By the way, how many forbidden books do you have?"

"Oh,", one of them said to me, " their number grows up geometrically. When I checked two weeks ago, their number was 2,148,763. A week ago there were 4,278,109 forbidden writings. Now there must be about 8,600,000."

"You are wrong.", I said to him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"There are now exactly 8,517,559 or 8,517,560 forbidden books."

"Why is it so important?"

"Why, it means that meanwhile you have 82,440 or 82,441 extra books you can read at bedtime if you can't fall asleep!"

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 6

"And what is the nature of those activists: Socialists? Communists? Liberals? ... "

"Let's say for simplicity that they are people of my intellect, only that as opposed to me they are sane."

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

A more experienced programmer…

A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes what went wrong more quickly.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Microsoft Notepad

BTW, for an editor with no replace feature (at least not on Windows 95), no regular-expression search and replace, no indentation support, no syntax-highlighting and no macros and scriptability features: MS Notepad is one hell of an editor!

"Wonderous are the ways of Microsoft" Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

WYSIWYT - Documentation Improvement

Suggested Improvements to the Documentation:

The WYSIWYT project was for a long time fascinated by Microsoft's tremendous desire to advance its Internet Explorer web-browser. We saw the fact that they switched the help systems of the upcoming Windows 98, as well as Microsoft Visual C++ 5.0, to HTML a major step in advancing our project.

As a complementary step, some of the chief heads of our project suggested that the Windows' manuals themselves, as well as all of Microsoft's ads, will be designed in HTML and printed after being rendered by IE4. While this project is in the preliminary and planning stages, we expect it to acquire a large momentum soon.

"IRPWUG Announces Project 'WYSIWYT'" Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

If A is A and A is not not-A…

If: 1. A is A.
2. A is not not-A.
does it also imply that:
1. B is B.
2. B is not not-B.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

I know I'm blond...

I know I'm blond, but I have to colour my hair brown, so people would not think I'm stupid. Because, like the title of the book says: "You've only got Three Seconds".

Actually, since Amazon sent us two books like that, you've only got six seconds.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"Knuth is not God!" - 1

Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2049

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"Knuth is not God!" - 2

Knuth is not God! God has already released TeX version 4.0.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Taking a Turing Test

>
> Shlomi,
>
> Have you ever considered taking a Turing test? ;-)
>
 
<sarcasm>
Sure I did. I sat at one point of an IRC channel, and someone
tested me. Eventually it was discovered that I am a computer, but it
turned out the other side was an Eliza program. Strangely enough, I could
not detect that the latter fact was true.
</sarcasm>

	Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465

IGLU Cabal and the Turing Test

There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But strangely enough a computer program they coded, could.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Hackers-IL message No. 2465

"Knuth is not God!" - 3

Knuth is not God! Google is not God! RMS is not God!

God himself said that was the case.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2385

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"Knuth is not God!" - 4

Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling Lucky" would not lead you to his homepage.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2084 ("The Great WWW-Wisdom Shootout")

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"Knuth is not God!" - 5

Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2037

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Patenting the TINIC

(I am patenting issuing a TINIC with anything else but the phrase "There is no IGLU Cabal!". The patent number is kept secret to avoid violating the copyright of its text)

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2021

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

C++ and Object-Oriented Programming

C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports Functional Programming.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

If it was not Clear

I hope that if it had not been clear before, it isn't less clear now.

Author

One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturers

Hi, Sophie!

Jack: Hi, Sophie!

Sophie: Don't "Hi, Sophie!" me.

Jack: Don't "Don't 'Hi, Sophie!' me" me!

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Crazy Opinions

My opinions may seem crazy but they all make sense. Insane sense, but sense nonetheless.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Corollary of Godwyn's Law

Shlomi, I'm considering naming a corollary of Godwyn's law after you - any discussion of anything is over when you mention Freecell Solver.

Muli Ben-Yeuhuda on #kernelnewbies (irc.kernelnewbiews.org)

Muli: BTW, I think that any discussion only begins to gain momentum when I mention Freecell Solver.

Shlomi Fish on #offtopic (irc.kernelnewbies.org)

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Keeping an Idea to Yourself

There's no point in keeping an idea to yourself since there's a 10 to 1 chance that somebody already has it and will share it before you.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

An Apple a Day

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Two apples a day will keep two doctors away.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

You are banished!

"You are banished! You are banished! You are banished! - hey I'm just kidding!"

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Foreign Languages

[Discussing Foreign Languages Knowledge in the U.S.A]

Ben Collins-Sussman: Tis' true, unlike Europe, the language doesn't change every 100 miles.

Shlomi Fish: And unlike England, the accent does not change every 10 miles.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

What happened to Christopher Michael Pilato?

What happened to Christopher Michael Pilato?
Is he gone?
Is he gone for good?
Is he gone for better?
Is he gone for best?
Is he gone forever?
Will he return?
Who is Christopher Michael Pilato, anyway?

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Adapted from an IRC Monologue

Teaching a Computer to Laugh

> Can anyone draw a plan as to how to teach a computer to laugh? Say we
> define laugh as print "LOL", and define smile as print ":)". How would a
> computer know when to print any of those, and when to operate an Eliza
> program?

Judging by IRC or AOL, randomly would do just fine ;-)

	Muli Ben-Yehuda in Hackers-IL message No. 3513

Author	Muli Ben-Yehuda
Work	Hackers-IL message No. 3,153

In Philosophy, as much as in software engineering

In Philosophy, as much as in software engineering, you don't get credit for originality. What matters is the final product, not who came up with the idea for each feature first.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

HURD is Lacking in Developers

> Unfortunatly as other people have mentioned - the HURD is seriously
> lacking in developers, especially driver writers. Linux is to blame for
> most of that.

KImageShop is seriously lacking in developers, and the GIMP is to blame
for most of that.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Post to the Linux-IL Mailing List

He has a high degree of…

He has a high degree of idealism, a high degree of stubbornness, and an even higher degree of inability to distiniguish between the two.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

I expected that this patch won't go in so easily

> Thanks, applied as change #22936.

And thank you for applying this patch. But to be honest, I'm a little disappointed. I expected it won't go in so easily and will trigger some discussion here. But there was none. No typo corrections ("you mis-spelled 'floccinaucinihilipilification'"); no flames ("this patch is the worst thing since non-sliced bread"). Nothing.

Someone should do something about it. This direction is not healthy for p5p. Seriously.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Post to perl5-porters

sleep-fu

rindolf	Right now, I think I'll go to sleep.
mitch	nite rindolf
mitch	sleep-fu well
rindolf	mitch: night.
rindolf	Bye all!
rindolf	mitch: there are no PDB entries for me sleeping.
rindolf	mitch: nor do I want any.
mitch	haha
mitch	(rindolf-sleep INTERACTIVE\|NONINTERACTIVE)
rindolf	mitch: heh
rindolf	mitch: (plug-in-rindolf-sleep ...
mitch	:)
Kevin	(plug-in-rindolf-sleep 8 HOURS) in Contemplating some potential procedural database functions

Contributing to #gimp

yacoob	a quickie: are 'adjustments layers' planned to be implemented in gimp?
nomis	yacoob: at some point in the future, yes.
yacoob	nomis: dare to estimate how far this future is?
nomis	yacoob: no.
rindolf	yacoob: faster if you contribute.
* nomis	waits for the "oh, I cannot program at all".
rindolf	nomis: faster if he learns how to program, and then contributes.
nomis	:)
yacoob	rindolf: you wouldn't like me to contribute, believe me ;) #gimp

Girly Men

[Commenting in Slashdot after Arnold Schwarzenegger's decision to use open-source software in the California government:]

> This is obviously because Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are girly-men.

Yeah and what are the offerings of the open-source world? Let's see:

1. Linus Torvalds - Looks like a dweeb, ergo is a dweeb. How girly is that? (plus his wife can kick ass better than him) 2. Richard M. Stallman - a hippy. How girly is that? 3. Eric S. Raymond - a nice looking man with a mustache. Baby faced, so he looks a bit girly to me. 4. Larry Wall - a cross between Linus and RMS (i.e: a hippy dweeb) that is even more girly.

So who do we have left? Alan Cox? OK, he's manly. (huge man, huge facial hair, etc.) And all the others are so neglible people don't even know how they look like.

Note: this comment may have been a bit cruel, so sorry. Don't take it too seriously, especially if you're one of the guys I laughed about. I hold you all with the greatest respect. Seriously.

Sincerily yours, Shlomi Fish (who is a quite girly male himself).

- http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=117863&cid=9962843

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

If his programming…

If his programming is anything like his philosophising, he would find ten imaginary bugs in the "Hello World" program.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Documentation for BL

rindolf	buu: do you have a working manual of BL?
rindolf	s/working/up-to-date/
buu	It's kind of sort of up to date
perlygatekeeper	he means NO
buu	I've got some docs!
rindolf	buu: do you have a functional spec? An architecture document? An interface whitepaper? A developer's guide? A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and "BL - The Program"?
buu	rindolf: no, no, no no and no

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Discussing the merits of documenting one's pet languages on

Hacker Sees Bug

Hacker sees bug. Hacker fixes bug.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Tcl is Lisp on Drugs…

Tcl is Lisp on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures is Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of chapters.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

95% of Programmers

Linus Torvalds: "95% of Programmers consider themselves in the top 5%". Shlomi Fish's Corollary: "95% of Programmers consider 95% of the code they did not write, in the bottom 5%."

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Too Girly

rindolf	Linuxgrrl: well The Gilmore Girls is also a drama. Sort of a dramedie, but a serious one.
Linuxgrrl	Meh.
Linuxgrrl	Too girly for me.
rindolf	Linuxgrrl: you are a girl.
rindolf	Linuxgrrl: let me guess - you're using Debian or Gentoo, right?
Linuxgrrl	Gentoo.
rindolf	Linuxgrrl: knew it.
rindolf	Linuxgrrl: no self-respecting tomboy would use Mandrake. Shlomi

Channel	#linuxchics
Network	OFTC
Tagline	Too Girly

C++ is…

C++ is complex, complexifying and complexified.

(With apologies to the Oxford English Dictionary).

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Blogging Memes

rindolf	I'm siicckk of blogging memes.
rindolf	You are this file type.
rindolf	You are that type of cloth.
jkauffman	You are this member of the Friends show
rindolf	jkauffman: LOL.
jkauffman	"January 4th, 2005: Just took an online quiz and it turns out I'm a Joey type"

Channel	#perlcafe
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Shlomi Fish (rindolf) and jkauffman

Did anybody see my newline at Freenode's #perl channel.

rindolf	sleeper: why are people obsessed with one-liners?
rindolf	It takes 3 lines - OMG what a disaster!
Botje	rindolf: newline prices went up again
rindolf	Botje: I buy my newlines in the black market
dabreegster	Botje: again? drat.
* Botje	reports rindolf to the newline police
dabreegster	Botje: I know about an... (underground) operation going on to pirate newlines.
rindolf	Botje: I bribed a few cops in the newline police, but nice try.
dabreegster	Botje: Some crazy guys are trying to free newlines from patents! They want to rid the market!
* cursor	gets called up to serve in the newline jury
rindolf	I think we need to start a campaign to lift all restrictions off newlines.
dabreegster	rindolf: La Resistance lives on!\n
Botje	I already stockpiled millions of newlines
dabreegster	Botje: We can have the one-liners destroyed by sundown
dabreegster	Not destroyed, but... TURNED INTO TWO-LINERS! Mwuhahaha!

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Cost of Newlines

Verbing the verb on Freenode's #perl

* buu	Stevie[FP] with a plunger.
* Stevie[FP]	looks for the verb in that sentence
sili	i think you're missing a verb
Stevie[FP]	I think he's missing a brain.
sili	unless Stevie[FP] is a verb i don't know
sili	Stevie[FP]: v. see Stevie[FP]
Stevie[FP]	I am not a verb!
sili	you've been verbatized
* rindolf	Stevie[FP]'s Chris62vw
Stevie[FP]	verbalized?
rindolf	Stevie[FP]: verbalized is a different thing.
rindolf	Stevie[FP]: it comes from "verbal".
Stevie[FP]	Verbified.
Stevie[FP]	Verbiated.
rindolf	stefan: verbificated.
Botje	verbed.
Stevie[FP]	Verberated.
rindolf	Stevie[FP]: verberation is overrated.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Verbing the Verb

Becoming Crazy

tyler-	rindolf: you are seriously the craziest fucker I know
tyler-	and I know some crazy ass people
mofino	haha
rindolf	tyler-: I am crazy. And proud of it.
tyler-	rindolf: you should be
mofino	haha
mofino	Ahh man
rindolf	tyler-: being crazy is hard work. I worked all my life to becrazy.
mofino	Normal people aren't fun.
rindolf	tyler-: "Craziness is not an action. It's a process."
mofino	heh
tyler-	rindolf: I see
rindolf	You need to tend to your insanity.
rindolf	tyler-: do you want to be crazy?
tyler-	rindolf: that's why I feed my leprechaun at least once aday.
rindolf	tyler-: I can teach you everything I know.Freenode's

Channel	#perlcafe
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Becoming Crazy

Discussing living with one's parents on IRC.

rindolf	mofino: I have some money, and am living and am supported by my parents.
rindolf	mofino: there's much less of a taboo against living withone parents after school in Israel, than there is in the States.
mofino	It's not taboo
mofino	It's pathetic.
mofino	Although, sometimes life sucks, and you have no choice.
q[ender]	you know, it depends
q[ender]	if you're not married and / or not getting any, it doesn't much matter if you live with your folks
mofino	ender, usually when you have self-respect, you try and you know, make it on your own
rindolf	q[ender]: are you married and not getting any? You could live with your parents.
q[ender]	hahaha
mofino	haha
q[ender]	awesome
q[ender]	rindolf++ # good burn!

Moses-the-Smiley

:)-<
 +--

    -- Moses the Smiley by Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Moses the Smiley

The First Phrase that needs to be Taught

The first phrase that need to be taught when teaching a new language is how to say "Do you speak English?". The first thing that needs to be taught when teaching a new computer tool is how to exit it.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Re-inventing the Wheel

He who re-invents the wheel, will understand much better how a wheel works.

He who re-invents the wheel, may actually invent a much better wheel.

Shlomi Fish

He who re-invents the wheel will likely design a square wheel and spend a year trying to figure out why it doesn't work properly.

Nadav Har'El

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Better Alternative

Sometimes you don't need to be familiar with a better alternative to know that something sucks. Take Microsoft Word for example.

Eran Keidar

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Good Student vs. Bad Student

The difference between a good student and a bad student is that a bad student forgets the material five minutes before the test, while a good student five minutes afterwards.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Real Programmers Don't Write

Real programmers don't write workarounds. They tell their users to upgrade their software.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Jewish Atheists

Jewish Atheists are the only true Atheists. They beat the hell out of Goy Atheists.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Human XML

BarnacleBob	i hate xml.....
mcrawfor	<response to="BarnacleBob">indeed</response>
rindolf	mcrawfor: :-)
rindolf	mcrawfor++ # Nice joke
Botje	ehm. ouch.
Botje	rindolf: no!
Botje	<postincrement comment="Nice joke">mcrawfor</postincrement>
rindolf	Botje: LOL.
rindolf	<postincrement comment="As you wish">Botje</postincrement>

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Human XML

/me (or I, you or we) is finding it amusing on Freenode's #perl.

* __you	fart
* __you	say "oops"
rindolf	__you: heh
* __you	kick rindolf
__you	(rindolf, you're now being kicked by 435 people)
squeeks	__you need to go outside.
kspath	__you: Who owns you?
* __you	go outside
* __you	are pwned by dazjorz
* __you	is now known as we
* we	are having a useless off-topic conversation right now
rindolf	we: hahah
* we	we is now known as __you
* __you	decide this channel is now useless and decide to leave
* simcop2387	is now known as we
* we	are not amused
* __you	and I are together simcop2387
* squeeks	is now known as _I_
* _I_	need to tell __you something
* __you	listen
* simcop2387	is now known as we
* we	need help
* _I_	think we are getting a bit sick of the shenanigans
rindolf	I'm so making a fortune out of it.
* we	want to be on bash.org

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	/me (or I, you or we) is finding it amusing

Multi-linguality

spyro_boy	Oh! I fixed it :D
spyro_boy	Yay :D
rindolf	spyro_boy: congrats!
spyro_boy	Thanks for your help, everyone. :)
rindolf	spyro_boy: now you should translate this script to O'Caml, Haskell, Perl 6.
spyro_boy	rindolf, huh?
rindolf	spyro_boy: Smalltalk, C, C++, Visual Basic...
spyro_boy	rindolf, translate to what?
rindolf	spyro_boy: to all these programming languages.
spyro_boy	haha
spyro_boy	rindolf, yeah.
rindolf	Because a script in perl is Not Enough<tm>.
rindolf	spyro_boy: but see the Great Computer Language Shootout.
spyro_boy	rindolf, I tried learning C,C++, and Java, but I couldn't catch on.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Mulit-linguality

Chuck Norris and Perl 6

rindolf	wankit
buubot	Perl 6, unlike most people, is able to breathe in the vacuum of space. In fact, anything else would damage its respiratory system. Because of this, whenever it's visiting Earth, it wears a respirator, which resembles a kickass beard.
rindolf	Heh heh.
rindolf	Are all of buubot's wankit factoids about Perl 6?
rindolf	He should have some about Chuck Norris, too.
merlyn	fictional factoids about a partially designed, partially implemented, partially wanted language. :)
rindolf	merlyn: yeah.
merlyn	Heh - those are all Chuck Norris quotes with s/Chuck/P6/
dabreegster	rindolf: It's written in Chuck Norris, right
merlyn	Chuck Norris writes code in Perl 6. Before Larry's done. And it works.
rindolf	merlyn: Chuck Norris wrote Perl 6 in a day but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no one will know his secrets.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Discussing the merits of documenting one's pet languages on

Chuck Norris Perlsixifies at FreeNode's #perl6 channel.

rindolf	ajs: perhaps Chuck Norris would be a useful addition to the Pugs and Parrot teams.
ajs	rindolf: If Norris can write, give him a commit bit, and tie him to a keyboard ;)
FurnaceBoy	I thought he already had commit
daxim	Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN server's head
* FurnaceBoy	chuckles
ajs	daxim: If you can get that to pass the test suite, then more power to you!
FurnaceBoy	Chuck is the test suite
Kattana	chuck norris does not code, when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever he wants.
rindolf	Kattana: :-)
daxim	ah, we're easy to amuse
ajs	Be the test suite, Chuck... BE the test suite.
FurnaceBoy	you gotta pass 'make chuck' Chuck

Channel	#perl6
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Discussing the merits of documenting one's pet languages on

Is a Life Ready for Prime Time?

rindolf	LeoNerd: I need to get a life.
LeoNerd	They can be quite useful, but they do have a crazy amount of dependencies..
LeoNerd	And sometimes they can be a bit unstable - I think they're still beta-testing Geek

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Is a Life Ready for Prime Time

#perl for Elisabeth

simcop2387	Daveman: i use a ZED PEE EM to power my computer, its the ultimate YOU PEE ES
* Daveman	throws an Elisabeth at Simcop
rindolf	Me catches the Elisabeth in mid-air.
SubStack	with an s, excellent choice
Daveman	:o
Daveman	Interception!
rindolf	Daveman: when my friend and I played Frisbee, we had an intra-tree move.
* SubStack	pirates Elisabeth and seeds a torrent
rindolf	Which was unintended.
rindolf	Elisabeth: are you here?
Daveman	HAHAHAHHA
Daveman	Substack++
* SubStack	wins at life.
rindolf	An Elisabeth for all! And all for an Elisabeth. Freenode's

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	#perl for Elisabeth

Books for Learning Perl

Alexi5	what is a good book for getting up to speed with perl?
merlyn	learning perl!
merlyn	intermediate perl!
nachos_	the camel is the _only book_
nachos_	:-P
* merlyn	bats nachos silly
nachos_	:-(
rindolf	Alexi5: there's also Beginning Perl, which is available online.
* f00li5h	saw that coming
rindolf	You should learn Perl from "Learning Perl in 24 minutes Unleashed!"
f00li5h	rindolf: ``Learning perl in 24 minutes Unleashed, in a nutshell for dummies'' is the one i have
rindolf	f00li5h: that's even better. FreeNode's

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Books for Learning Perl

The ex-Member about Rashness

"You know:", The physicist said, "in my opinion since you left the Organization you acted without thinking a lot before you did things. I would define your behavior as deriving from spontaneousness and fickle-mindedness that border on rashness. Do you also think so?"

"Of course!" I answered him, "Except for arrogance, rashness is my only defect!"

Excerpt from "The Enemy and How I Helped to Fight it" By: Shlomi Fish http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/TheEnemy/

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Second Best Solution

The current solution offered by Nvidia may be the second-best solution. But this is one case where the second best solution is not good enough.

Shlomi Fish in http://www.petitiononline.com/nvfoss/petition.html

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

If it isn't in my email…

If it isn't in my email, it doesn't exist.

And if the whole world says one thing and my email says something different, email will conquer.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Buffy and Willo

rindolf	Hi CSWookie
rindolf	CSWookie: aren't you also on Freenode?
CSWookie	rindolf: What's up.
CSWookie	rindolf: I am.
rindolf	CSWookie: I'm fine.
rindolf	CSWookie: you are a Buffy fan right?
CSWookie	rindolf: I am. Although really, more a Willow fan. Nothing hotter than red-headed Jewesses that are scared of boys.

Channel	#gimp
Network	GimpNet
Tagline	CSWookie on Willow

Discussing Vintage Hypertext on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	Are you using Firefox?
Imaginativeone	yeah...
rindolf	Interesting...
rindolf	Don't know.
[x86]	use a real browser... you know... like IE!
* [x86]	runs
infi	IE 3 > *
rindolf	IE 2 > *
infi	gopher!
infi	firefox can actually do gopher URLs
rindolf	GNU info!
infi	feh.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Vintage Hypertext

When Closed-source Bites

rindolf	Hi all! How can I tell Flash in FF to play using artsd? It keeps trying to invoke esd. I'm on Mandriva 2007.
vexati0n	the REAL question is, wtf is taking adobe so long with flash 9 :@
vexati0n	rindolf: you might have to set that with firefox' settings.
vexati0n	or, do what good people do and use opera.
vexati0n	:P
* rindolf	slaps vexati0n
rindolf	vexati0n: I'm not using Opera. Period.
rindolf	I don't like it and it's not FOSS.
vexati0n	god, it's like opera is anathema just cause people can't look at it's code or something.
vexati0n	like YUO are going to tinker with your browser's source code anyway
rindolf	vexati0n: actually, I did that for Firefox.
rindolf	vexati0n: I have a bug pending on bugzilla.mozilla.org.
rindolf	vexati0n: nah, nah, nah, nah
vexati0n	well, you wouldn't have to do it with opera because it already works :P
rindolf	vexati0n: I hate the fact that it resizes images.
rindolf	vexati0n: it causes the images to be too large.
rindolf	vexati0n: now tell me how do I fix that.
vexati0n	opera resizes images? o.O
vexati0n	do you have a page it screws up so i can look?
rindolf	vexati0n: when I press Ctrl++ and Ctrl+-
vexati0n	oh. you mean it doesn't just increase the size of the text.
rindolf	vexati0n: take http://www.shlomifish.org/art/ for example.
rindolf	vexati0n: yes.

Channel	##linux
Network	Freenode
Tagline	When Closed-source bites

The Bad Thing about Hardware

The bad thing about hardware is that it sometimes work and sometimes doesn't. The good thing about software is that it's consistent: it always does not work, and it always does not work in exactly the same way.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Welcome to Web 2.0

rindolf	Kev: thanks.
rindolf	Kev: did you post it on the French page?
Kev	not yet
rindolf	Kev: you need to create an account first. But it's easy.
rindolf	It's' a MediaWiki based wiki.
Kev	arghhhhhhhhhhhh
rindolf	Kev: what's wrong?
jagerman	Maybe MediaWiki wronged him in some way!
Kev	wiki
jagerman	Just be thankful it isn't a blog!
rindolf	Kev: what's wrong with wikis?
rindolf	And be extra thankful it's not MySpace.
jagerman	Mt. Allison [University] is now paying 5 students to maintain a "life as a Mt. A student" blog

Channel	#perlcafe
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Welcome to Web 2.0

Unflattering Nicknames

mofino	Well I'm confused and I'm going home
mofino	Later guys
mofino	And girl.
mofino	Young tender girl ...
mofino	sweet 16 year old girl ....
avar	haha
rindolf	mofino: heh.
* mofino	puts away his lynching pedo personality
mofino	;)
mofino	lates
* ChanServ	gives channel operator status to jagerman
←jagerman	has kicked mofino from #perlcafe (Leave already :P)
* jagerman	removes channel operator status from jagerman
avar	We have found pedobear and he is mofino
→mofino	has joined #perlcafe
mofino	can you like not do that as I'm picking up my keys?
mofino	you fagerman
rindolf	fagerman, homofino, what's next?
rindolf	I know - q[tyler-]
rindolf	OTOH, I've been called Slimy Fish lately.
avar	rindolf: The real Slimy Fish?
rindolf	avar: the one and only 100% original real actual and unmatched Slimy Fish<tm>!
rindolf	I'm the real Slimy, yes I'm the real Slimy, if you're the real Slimy and not just a Slimy. So will the real Slimy please stand up, please stand up...
* jagerman	is ashamed for actually knowing those lyrics
avar	sing it jew boy:)

Channel	#perlcafe
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Unflattering Nicknames

Linux for Christians

rindolf	CSWookie: tried Christian Ubuntu yet? ;-)
goldfish	lol.
goldfish	Oh dear, you weren't joking.
rindolf	goldfish: no, I was.
goldfish	hah
goldfish	"Ubuntu Christian Edition is a free, open source operating system geared towards Christians. It is based on the popular Ubuntu Linux. Ubuntu is a complete Linux-based operating system, freely available with both community and professional support."
moldy	i might try it soon
moldy	right now we are using plain dapper at my church
goldfish	moldy: hah
moldy	is this that funny? :p
goldfish	:)
rindolf	http://christianubuntu.blogspot.com/
moldy	hehe
moldy	For 40 days before Easter, Ubuntu Christian Edition works in text mode only.
moldy	haha
goldfish	That's brilliant :)
rindolf	There's also a Jewbuntu blog, but it's not as funny as this Christian Ubuntu blog.
moldy	true
moldy	That sounds about right -- Jesus might have preferred Jewbuntu since he was a Jew. Then again, Jesus was also a dedicated idealist, so he might have chosen Debian instead of Ubuntu. :-P
moldy	hehehe
tpope	why has ubuntu become the distro of puns?
moldy	has it? there are puns for other distros, too
Strogg	Jesus came from long long ago. I bet he runs debian stable. :)

Channel	#vim
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Ubuntu for Christians

Free as in what?

rindolf	ofer0: what's up?
ofer0	rindolf, nothing much. what's with you?
rindolf	ofer0: I restored my fonts to my nouveau-enabled X server.
jagerman	What is nouveau?
ofer0	jagerman, "new" in french ?
jagerman	Yes, I know it's a word, but what is the nouveau rindolf is talking about?
ofer0	I have no idea. rindolf ?
rindolf	jagerman, ofer0: it's the free-as-in-speech Nvidia drivers.
dmq	jagerman++ (Yes i know its a word).
pkrumins	free as in freedom
nainef	free as in richard stallman?
ofer0	free as in free Microsoft Windows Vista CDs
nainef	lol
pkrumins	vista--
ofer0	"What do you mean? Windows XP isn't free?" -- My neighbour.
Ikarus	ofer0: sounds familiar
ofer0	(when telling him that I can't format his hard-drive and re-install XP because he doesn't own a license)

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Free as in what?

The Only Programming Language

rindolf	This reminds me of a fun discussion I had with my co-worker.
rindolf	He had a Firefox window open with an ActiveState page and I read "Perl, PHP, Python, Tcl, XSLT".
rindolf	So he said: "Heresy! C is the only language."
rindolf	So I thought for a moment and said "Intercal is the only language."
nanonyme	lol
rindolf	And then "Real men write in Intercal."
rindolf	"COME FROM" anyone?

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Only Programming Language

Misleading Textbooks about Perl

rindolf	mortal5: you need to print the header.
rindolf	mortal5: print header()
mortal5	rindolf, ...I absolutely love it when my textbook leads me wrong..
rindolf	mortal5: what is your textbook?
mortal5	"web wizards guide to perl and cgi"
mortal5	lol
mortal5	only the finest for the students at my university
buu	Hahaha
buu	That's awesome.
cfedde	Is this what we're teacing these days? Oh my.
somian	Blows the mind, doesn't it cfedde!
cfedde	somian: it does.
cfedde	I suppose that I'm commenting out of context. but why the mix and match.
f3ew	What mind?
cfedde	yours, with this .48
* somian	sends in CSI las vegas to clean up
rindolf	mortal5: what is your university?
mortal5	rindolf, I'm too ashamed to tell :p
rindolf	mortal5: heh.
rindolf	mortal5: is it bad?
mortal5	rindolf, no not really, we have a fairly well known cs dept
somian	Just so long as it isn't SUNY@BUFFALO
mortal5	it's just the teacher i'm using, she's a total flake

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Misleading Textbooks about Perl

Perl, dongs and everything between on Freenode's #perl

* CPAN	rating: Net-DNS-Check rated 4 stars by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason
rindolf	Oooh! avar has rated a module.
somian^{}	avar! WHAT ARE YOU DOING rating CPAN modules!?! Do you really think you are QUALIFIED to be doing that!?! ;-P
* avar	dongs somian^{}
* somian^{}	laughs
avar	somian^{}: I'M A PROFESSIONAL PERL PROGRAMMER
avar	I know PERL
somian^{}	But can u mAke teh weB with teh PERL!?
Earle_Martin	avar: I know DONGS
avar	Earle_Martin: SHOW ME
avar	Earle_Martin: Don't you mean DONG foo?
* somian^{}	has a silly grin on his face as he decends the stairs to make some fresh coffee
avar	somian^{}: I maek teh web really well with PERL
Earle_Martin	/DCC MATRIX avar
avar	Earle_Martin: IT'S SO LARGE AND HARD!
Earle_Martin	avar: You think that's milk you're drinking?
f3ew	heh]
avar	I was wondering why it was so delcicious
avar	"I can't belive it's not jizz"
f3ew	Take the red pill
rfordinal_	blue!
Earle_Martin	I know PERL: Programmer's Elite Robotic Language
* avar	goes back to work
Shadow42	I wonder what would happen if Neo was colorblind and took the wrong pill.
Earle_Martin	10 DO ROBOT DANCE
Earle_Martin	20 GOTO 10
avar	which doesn't involving discussing dongs in great detail, unfortunately
Earle_Martin	avar: the real world sucks

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Perl and Dongs on Freenode's #perl

N-uple negative on Freenode's #perl

polak	mauke: so how does that "translate" into eng
merlyn	"eng"?
mauke	I spe eng goo
rindolf	mauke: I spe eng wel
rindolf	I spe goo eng
sts	just a short question. besides personal preference is there any difference if you use if(! or unless(?
rindolf	sts: no.
rindolf	sts: they do the same thing.
Botje	sts: pfft. Real Men(tm) use unless(!...)
rindolf	Botje: heh.
sts	lol unless(! makes sense. thanks Botje, i'll rather use this one. =D
LeoNerd	For me it's a readability thing - I express what seems more likely
rindolf	Botje: File::HomeDir used to have a triple or quadruple negative in one of its test files.
Botje	unless(! $str !~ /(?!foo)/)
rindolf	Botje: heh
merlyn	whoa
merlyn	unless (!) makes no sense to me at all
Botje	of course not.
sts	Botje: wow!
Botje	it's still cool to confuse people with :]
LeoNerd	Heh.. Should just use !!! in there anywa y:)
merlyn	it's 7 characters too many
xand	some people don't understand double negatives
merlyn	I don't want no complaints!
Botje	xand: you mean don't not understnad?
LeoNerd	We don't know nobody who don't want no double-negatives
sts	Botje: what does (?!foo) do?
nanonyme	lol
xand	Botje: don't not misunderstand
mauke	Botje: that always executes the block
merlyn	there's an argument that can be successfully made that "I don't want no complaints" doesn't necessarily work logically
Botje	xand: oh, I don't not think I didn't not misunderstand you.
Botje	mauke: I know. it just looks cool.
mauke	and you want !($str !~ /.../)
xand	don't you?#
merlyn	so it might actually mean what people think they're meaning

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	N-uple negative on Freenode's #perl

More Advanced than CVS

On Sunday 01 April 2007, chromatic wrote:
> On Saturday 31 March 2007 15:26, Yuval Kogman wrote:
> > uses_version_control sounds more like lacks_manifest_skip_file which
> > should deduct kwalitee IMHO.
>
> Maybe so, but how else can CPANTS detect that you use the world's most
> advanced version control system: CVS?
>

Are you kidding?

CVS is not advanced as:

1. Microsoft Visual SourceSafe - the only sane choice for good data integrity
and portability.

2. tarballs/zip-files and patches. This one excels in convenience, and
robustness.

CVS is a very advanced version control system, however. I do wish that
Subversion (which is a VCS that I have to use against my will) was as good as
it is.

    -- Shlomi Fish answering to chromatic on 01-April-2007

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	"Re: New CPANTS metrics"

Larry Wall Facts

* Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.

* Larry Wall gets the colon.

* There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters.

* Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch.

* Larry Wall dreams in Perl.

* Larry Wall can program in his sleep.

* Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris.

* Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Electrical Engineering Studies in the Technion

Electrical Engineering studies. In the Technion. Been there. Done that. Forgot a lot. Remember too much.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

"I am Without Faults"

Well, for the record, *I* am without faults, but i'll mention them here anyways:

i really hate scriptaculous

i kicked a dog the other day

i pushed an old lady aside, on my way to get a cup of free coffee

i secretly program in Python

i like to interject and make lists

Author	Jeff Anderson
Work	Post to London Perl Mongers

"I'm not an actor"

I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Discussing vapourware on Freenode's ##freebsd

anonuser	You know for when they finally decide to release that programatic abortion they call perl 6
rindolf	anonuser: on Christmas.
rindolf	anonuser: don't know which one.
rindolf	anonuser: you can download pugs and play with it.
anonuser	rindolf, The running joke I have with friends is that Duke Nukem Forever (DNF) is being written in Perl6
rindolf	anonuser: it's an old joke.
anonuser	rindolf, DNF and Perl6 together is an old joke?
rindolf	anonuser: yeah.
rindolf	anonuser: "Perl 6 is the language Duke Nukem Forever will be written in."
rindolf	Well, it's not too old, but it's a meme.
Aji-Dahaka	rindolf: I'm the guy who's going to port DNF from GNU/Hurd to FreeBSD

Channel	##freebsd
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Discussing Vapourware

Trying to Block Pornography…

Trying to block pornography is like climbing a waterfall and trying to stay dry.

Drew Dexter

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

I'm not Straight

I'm not straight - I'm Israeli.

Shlomi Fish (who is not gay)

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Almost Worthy

Hi Omer! Mazal Tov on Chen and yours marriage. It reminds me of a quote from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre:

"At this period she married, removed with her husband (a clergyman, an excellent man, *almost worthy of such a wife*) to a distant county, and consequently was lost to me."

Well, in your case I can say that both of you are almost worthy of each other. Congrats again!

Shlomi Fish in: http://omerm.livejournal.com/36505.html?thread=43673#t43673

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

My operating system is better than yours on Freenode's #perl

Yaakov	LINUX < WINDOWS XP
rindolf	Yaakov: Linux ">" x Inf Windows XP
rindolf	Yaakov: DOS > Linux
rindolf	Yaakov: CTSS > Linux
rindolf	Yaakov: TOPS-10 > Linux
rindolf	Multics > Linux
rindolf	Multics > *
rindolf	I think I'll stop.
Supaplex	I think I'll /clear
Kobaz	CP/M > *
rindolf	Kobaz: heh!
rindolf	Kobaz++
Kobaz	Heh.
Kobaz	CP/M was teh sexy.
Kobaz	How much more of an OS do you really need?
Kobaz	I still have my Apple II sitting in the corner.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	My Operating System is Better than Yours

It doesn't Mean What You Think it Means

> You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it
> means.

It does not mean what I think it means, but it means what *you* think it
means.

<evil-laugh>Muahahahah...</evil-laugh>

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Post to Linux-elitists

Freenode's #perl on the many types of Wheels.

rindolf	Mahmoud: what's up?
Mahmoud	rindolf, writing a CMS from scratch with perl.. really cool, making my own template engine
rindolf	Mahmoud: why???
rindolf	Mahmoud: use TT2.
rindolf	Or whatever.
Mahmoud	rindolf, i dislike other CMS engines.. they are bloated and i don't trust them
rindolf	Mahmoud: TT2 is pure perl.
* Mahmoud	looks for TT2
rindolf	Mahmoud: a CMS doesn't stay simple forever.
rindolf	Mahmoud: and a CMS != Templating system.
Mahmoud	rindolf, the template engine is quite simple, it's similar to how SimpleMachines forum does its templates
Mahmoud	rindolf, just an external file with print 'foo'; commands
amnesiac	Mahmoud, TT2 is very powerful
amnesiac	Mahmoud, there are more templating systems, why not use any ofo the existing ones?
rindolf	Mahmoud: please don't re-invent square wheels.
Mahmoud	heh..
NOTevil	oval!
* amnesiac	likes hexagonal wheels
NOTevil	very small octagon wheels aren't too bad.
rindolf	amnesiac: triangular wheels are the best!
Shaine	i like star shaped wheels :/

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	On the Many Types of Wheels

The Pyramid of Code Golf on Freenode's #perl

ferret	LeoNerd: That was one of the first blobs of Java I wrote, it's allowed to be even more verbose and convoluted than Java normally is. ;P
rindolf	ferret: link?
ferret	/las Cat.java
rindolf	ferret: an implementation of the UNIX "cat" program in Java??
ferret	Actually, specifically the GNU cat program, and only a subset thereof.
rindolf	ferret: oh.
rindolf	ferret: how many lines did it take?
* f00li5h	heads off to #codegolf and tries to convince them to allow java submissions
ferret	rindolf: It's mostly argument parser.
rindolf	ferret: I once implemented a parser for a subset of the Bourne Shell args, in really hideous ANSI C.
rindolf	f00li5h: good luck.
rindolf	f00li5h: Java Golf...
f00li5h	yeah, for sure!
rindolf	Java Golf would be longer than a non-Golfed Perl program.
f00li5h	rindolf: this is true
rindolf	f00li5h: COBOL Golf!

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Pyramid of Code Golf

Scary Perl Expertise on Freenode's #perl

pasteling	"struggling intern" at 129.162.1.31 pasted "Here it is.." (220 lines, 5.7K) at http://sial.org/pbot/25279
strugglingintern	woohoo
strugglingintern	there it goes...
rindolf	strugglingintern: oh my god!
rindolf	strugglingintern: this code looks really bad.
strugglingintern	heh...
rindolf	strugglingintern: if ($records eq 0 ) - don't you want ($records == 0)?
rindolf	strugglingintern: do you have unit tests?
rindolf	strugglingintern: and you should factor it better.
rindolf	strugglingintern: and possibly use Template Toolkit or something.
rindolf	strugglingintern: and you may have some HTML-injection (or XSS) problems.
Ani-_	rindolf: and probably SQL injection problems.
rindolf	Ani-_: indeed!
strugglingintern	:-/
Ani-_	strugglingintern: really, ask them to review that code when they get back.
strugglingintern	alright
strugglingintern	I appreciate it anyway
rindolf	strugglingintern: how long have you been programming perl?
strugglingintern	hah, about 3 months
strugglingintern	This isn't all my code ;)
strugglingintern	I'll look into it
strugglingintern	Thanks guys (and gals).
rindolf	strugglingintern: you're welcome.
strugglingintern	not my choice ;)
strugglingintern	it's my 3rd week here :)
rindolf	Amazing how much more experienced programmers can tell a code is bad from a quick glance.
rindolf	It's a bit scary.
Ani-_	nothing amazing about it. It's called skill. :)
The_SB	yeh even I can tell it by a look
ology	It's not scary or amazing at all.
ology	It is called experience!
Ani-_	rindolf: what do you find scary?
Ani-_	rindolf: that experienced programmers can tell it? Or the code itself?
Ani-_	I would disagree on the first one but agree on the later! :)
rindolf	Ani-_: no, that I'm so experienced.
rindolf	Ani-_: I hope I don't sound out as a snob.
ology	narcissism is fun
rindolf	I should get a life.
rindolf	Get a girlfriend, go to movies.
rindolf	Instead all I do is write Perl.
rindolf	And chat about writing Perl.
Ikarus	a life, tried that, didn't mix with me

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Scary Perl Expertise

(Human) Language Fun on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	Let me wikipedia it.
f00li5h	so now wikipedia is a verb?
rindolf	f00li5h: it's gonna enter the OED.
rindolf	f00li5h: in English every verb can be nounified and every noun can be verbed.
rindolf	f00li5h: google is now a verb too.
f00li5h	rindolf: q{ just one second and i'll "computer" it up for you"}
rindolf	f00li5h: LOL.
rindolf	f00li5h++
* rindolf	f00li5hes jql
rindolf	I'm rindolfed
* f00li5h	finds it odd that irssi hilighted half of that word
rindolf	f00li5h: it's much harder to do it in Hebrew.
jql	computer is from the verb compute already
rindolf	jql: there's computerise though.
f00li5h	jql: but to computer something is different than computing it
f00li5h	COMPUTIFY!
rindolf	jql: I once thought that the study of Objectivity is Objectivism.
f00li5h	"configurated"
jql	you shouldn't noun up a verb that's been nouned already
rindolf	And the study of Objectivism is Objectivistalism.
Caelum	heh
rindolf	And that study of that is Objectvisitalistalism.
rindolf	And to infinity it's Objectivist-elementalism!
f00li5h	eval: object .((ism)x100)
buubot	f00li5h: objectismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismi
rindolf	With apologies to the 4 people who ever spoke Latin correctly.
jql	I can't help but read that as smi smi smi
Caelum	me too
rindolf	jql: reminds me of Peter Pan.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	(Human) Language Fun on Freenode's #perl

How many clicks must a one man do, before he selects what he wants on Freenode's #perl.

dkr	I use nedit, the only app with a quadruple-click feature
naquad	wtf is quadruple-click??? %-/
dkr	double-click selects a word, triple-click selects a line, quadruple-click select the whole document. heh :)
Patterner	quintuple-click selects the whole harddisk
rindolf	hexuple-click selects the entire Intranet.
rindolf	And septapable-click selects the entire Internet
Patterner	How many for the multiverse?
naquad	people, who uses what editor?
arw	octaple click selects the known universe and nonaple the rest too.
rindolf	arw: how long does it takes these clicks to run?
rindolf	I think it's super-exponential complexity.
arw	rindolf: no matter, the universe is finite :)
arw	rindolf: only problem is, the information about your clicking will never reach the entire universe as it expands ;) on --

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	How many clicks must a one man do, before he selects what he wants?

Tower of Babel and God the Dwarf

A few weeks ago, I've been to Freenode's #perl, talking to merlyn and other guys, when we got to discuss the Biblical "Tower of Babel Myth". As it turned out, the commonly perceived interpretation was not the one most scholars find as more sensible, which is the one we ended up being taught at Junior High School.

What most people think is something like that:

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The people spoke to each other in the same language, concentrated in one place, and decided to build a tower high enough so they can reach God. God, a small dwarf who lived in the sky, was afraid of the efforts of these people, because he feared they'll reach him. So he casted an 8th level Spell of Language Fragmentation, caused these people to speak in different tongues, and without being able to understand each other, they ended up spreading across the Earth. God was relieved and returned to his dwarfish deeds, as dwarfs do. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Shlomi Fish in http://shlomif.livejournal.com/11889.html (Based on what his Bible teacher said)

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

The meaning of "I" on Freenode's #perl.

* reflexive	huzzahs. His Perl books just arrived.
apeiron	reflexive, Which?
reflexive	apeiron: IP and PBP. A couple others are still in transit.
apeiron	reflexive, Nice. :)
reflexive	:)
rindolf	reflexive: what is IP?
reflexive	Intermediate Perl.
rindolf	reflexive: oh, OK.
rindolf	Intellectual Perl.
rindolf	Internet Perl.
kojiro	Invasive Perl
kspath	Idiot Perl
rindolf	Interactive Perl.
rindolf	I, Perl.
kojiro	Implementing Pies
kojiro	mmm, pie
rindolf	Improbably Perl
kspath	Ignoble Perl
kojiro	Probably Inverted
rindolf	kojiro: :-)
kspath	Improper Perl
reflexive	Insidious Perl?
mst	ALL PERL IS IMPROPER
kojiro	API?
rindolf	In Soviet Russia all improper is Perl.
rindolf	APII.
qrck	impudent perl
kojiro	no, you never count words like "is"
kspath	Incoherent Perl
kojiro	ALL PERL IS INCOHERENT
reflexive	So true.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Meaning of "I".

Got the Slashdot? on Freenode's #perl.

dkr	which is that ACME:: filter that obfusctaes all your source into whitespace? :)
preaction	Acme::Bleach
rindolf	dkr: as preaction said it is Acme::Bleach.
dkr	moderation -1 Redundant
* dkr	smirks
nws	get out you slashdotter
nws	jk
dkr	I got moderated overrated yesterday. I felt so loved
dkr	GumbyGumby: how often do you post to /.?
GumbyGumby	dkr: do it to system() a ssh command. Is doing that often.
rindolf	GumbyBRAIN: how often do you post dkr to Slashdot?
GumbyBRAIN	do it to list.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Got the Slashdot?

What's in a variable-name? on Freenode's #perl.

WebDragon	y'all should spell it in uppercase it being an acronym and all
reaction	Yes, but we're lazy!
* WebDragon	so noticed ;)
dkr	WebDragon: people that use CamelCase have no right to criticize about capitalization. :)
WebDragon	dkr: I hate underscores
* dkr	contemplates a source code filter that does lets you use spaces in var names by switch them to underscores at compile time
preaction	black magic
mst	dkr: source filters are evil.
mst	dkr: in a bad way.
mst	dkr: hacking the compiler is much more fun, and evil in a useful way :)
mst	WebDragon: recommended perl style is $var_name
mst	WebDragon: it's also more readable than $varName or $VarName
mst	WebDragon: I'd recommend trying it for at least a month
mst	WebDragon: also note that it'll make life easier because you'll be consistent with the rest of perl code
WebDragon	mst: I was thinking more along the lines of filenames and irc nicknames than perl variables
mst	WebDragon: ah. fair enough :)
* WebDragon	doesn't use camelcase for perlvars
mst	WebDragon: then I shall cease complaining :)
avar	${"Insert a descriptive essay about the variable here"}
WebDragon	rofl
rindolf	avar: that won't work with 'use strict 'refs''
WebDragon	avar: I've seen things like that in RL and had recurring nightmares about them when I saw similar and sometimes worse things on thedailywtf.com
mst	rindolf: ${main::}{"Insert a descriptive essay about the variable here"} would :)
mst	rindolf: or you could just use %_ :)
dkr	my boss still occasionally uses vars like $x. still trying to beat that behavior out of him
* WebDragon	only uses x\|y\|z for cartesian coordinate math
WebDragon	which, since I hardly ever do any of that, means the obvious

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	What's in a variable name?

Watched the fountain on Freenode's #perlcafe

mofino	watched the Fountain
mofino	pretty cool'
q[ender]	yep
sili	what?
sili	you think The Fountain was cool?
sili	it was pretty artsy.
sili	I don't understand the necessity of repeating that same scene 50k times, though.
mofino	then you didn't get the movie
rindolf	sili: if you repeat a scene 50k times, then the movie will have less entropy and will compress better.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Watched the fountain on Freenode's #perlcafe

Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl.

convivial	high-rez, but I don't know enough to help you because I am a newbie to perl programming and although I am in deep luv with perl and planning on marrying perl, I still have a lot to learn.
rindolf	convivial: you can only marry Perl if polygamy is legal where you live.
rindolf	convivial: because Perl and I are already married. :-D
convivial	why is that? i'm single :)
rindolf	convivial: but Perl isn't.
convivial	oh crap !
convivial	all the good languages are already married :(
rindolf	convivial: COBOL is still single.
rindolf	convivial: but I heard she's a total bitch.
convivial	ewwwwwwwwwwww, so is JCL and no one is knocking down either of their doors
convivial	rindolf, janet reno is single!
rindolf	convivial: what kind of programming language is "Janet Reno"?
convivial	:)
convivial	she is a person
rindolf	convivial: I'm not interested in people, I'm only interested in programming languages.
shaldannon	rindolf: you should try Ada
rindolf	shaldannon: Ada 95?
shaldannon	yeah
shaldannon	the syntax of Pascal, the power of Basic and the friendliness of Java

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl.

Making use of Encyclopedias at FreeNode's #perl

* shaldannon	beats iank over the head with an encyclopedia
rindolf	shaldannon: all volumes of an encyclopedia?
dwu	rindolf: ha
shaldannon	rindolf: every last one of 'em
rindolf	shaldannon: or perhaps a printout of the Wikipedia?
iank	rindolf: the whole bookcase
rindolf	shaldannon: which Encyclopedia?
iank	rindolf: naw, just get the DVD :)
shaldannon	rindolf: I couldn't lift that
shaldannon	rindolf: Britanica
iank	You could lift the DVD!
dwu	shaldannon: Start. Working. Out.
shaldannon	dwu: oh?
dwu	shaldannon: Dude, being able to lift the Britannica is hot.
* iank	-> the internet
shaldannon	:-}
dwu	Seriously.
dwu	"I can hold the accepted knowledge of a percentage of the human race in my arms!" "Oh, god, that is so sexy."
shaldannon	hahahaha
dwu	Seriously. Smart is hot. Smart and funny... well.
* shaldannon	is hillarious ;)
dwu	Uhm. kay.
rindolf	If you start reading the wikipedia lexicographically, will you ever finish at the rate articles are added there?
tarrybone	rindolf: yes (citation needed)
dwu	ha
shaldannon	lol @ tarrybone
dwu	tarrybone++
rindolf	This reminds me of James Bond 1, where the girl there read an encyclopedia, instead of going to school.
yrlnry	Does anyone near Philadelphia want to come to my house and take away my 1920 Britannica?
shaldannon	rindolf: hey...when I was in elementary school, I used to read the World Book encyclopedia instead of doing my homework

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl.

Production WTF Code on #perl

dwave	anyone envy me? i'm refactoring production code that uses the fact that "" is defined, as a hash key.
dwave	if (ref $ref->{""} ne "ARRAY") {
dwave	$ref->{""} = [$ref->{""},$_];
dwave	} else {
dwave	$ref->{""} = [@{$ref->{""}},$_];
dwave	}
dwave	:(
iank	hey, that looks like fun.
integral	Has the author been lynched yet?
* integral	would have used "\0" :-P
dwave	the best of it all, is that it's an XML parser
mauke	$ref->{""} = [ref $ref->{""} eq "ARRAY" ? @{$ref->{""}} : $ref->{""}, $_]; # fixed
rindolf	dwave: does this XML parser makes use of an existing XML parser from CPAN?
rindolf	dwave: or does it do everything from scratch?
dwave	rindolf: everything from scratch :)
rindolf	dwave: nice!
dwave	i'm trying to get rid of it
rindolf	dwave: re-inventing square wheels.
dwave	there's a home made unicode lib too
dwave	!
rindolf	dwave: ouch!
shaldannon	nice
iank	Brilliant!
shaldannon	dwave: I suggest a dailywtf.com submission
rindolf	dwave: yeah, I second shaldannon

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Production WTF Code on #perl

One GEGL Per Child on GIMPNet's #gimp channel

CIA-1	shlomif * r1712 gegl/ (ChangeLog docs/index-static.html.in):
CIA-1	* docs/index-static.html.in: fixed "GEGLs" into "GEGL's" and "GIMPs"
CIA-1	into "GIMP's" in the homepage.
mitch	why is breaking the correct writing a fix?
mitch	rindolf: ?
mitch	rindolf: oh i misread :)
* rindolf	gives some GEGLs and GIMPs to the mitches.
mitch	haha :)
rindolf	One GEGL each!
rindolf	There's not enough for everybody.
mitch	GEGLS FOR THE MASSES
rindolf	We should have an assembly line of GEGLs.
rindolf	Mass-produce them for the ever-growing demand.

Channel	#gimp
Network	GimpNet
Tagline	One GEGL Per Child on GIMPNet's #gimp channel

Dream Language in Freenode's #lisp-il

adeht	rindolf: my brother had AIMA in hard-cover.. and maybe I can get a hold of PAIP
adeht	s/had/has/;
* adeht	yays for perl
rindolf	adeht: what did perl do?
adeht	<adeht> s/had/has/;
rindolf	adeht: it's actually from sed and ed before that.
adeht	I know, but I'm using perl syntax :)
rindolf	adeht: now write it in Lisp.
adeht	heh.
adeht	in Lisp you wouldn't use a regex for this kind of dumb substitution.. though you could
adeht	rindolf: a nice way of writing CL code is to imagine your dream language for expressing that particular problem, and then realizing it :)
rindolf	You probably wouldn't use a regex in Python either.
rindolf	adeht: I see.
rindolf	adeht: I'm not going to implement Perl in Common Lisp. :-D
adeht	heh

Channel	#lisp-il
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Dream Language in Freenode's #lisp-il

Why Shlomi Fish Dislikes Lisp

> This reminds me of Paul Graham's articles, in which he claims that LISP
> programmers are better. But why is it so (whether or not you agree to
> the conclusion)? There are at least two opposite reasons: 1. Because
> programmers that learned LISP become better 2. Because good programmers
> prefer LISP when they come to know it.

No. 1 is true, naturally. No. 2 is not true - I know LISP but I prefer Perl.
Other like Python, etc. The reasons I don't prefer LISP are:

1. The standards of Common LISP and Scheme don't define anything practical.
2. LISP is at the moment incredibly verbose.
3. As Larry Wall noted, all LISP code comes in parenthesis and so it all looks
the same. (Perl is the exact opposite in this regard).
4. I cannot make heads nor tails of serious LISP code. Many LISPers create so
many macros and use them along with regular LISP code, so you keep having to
refer to the previous definitions, and make a lot of research to get you
started.

SICP Scheme is easy and fun. But serious LISP code can take too much time to
understand. OTOH, recently I had little problem reading the source code of
other Perl programmers, and extending it or fixing bugs. (likewise for
Python).

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Post to Linux-IL

Versions of Software on FreeNode's #perl

bp31416	rindolf: I command you both, to uninstall it, and install SuSE10.2 =P
jagerman	"versions" are so annoying.
jagerman	"I use Linux 10.2!"
iank	jagerman: I had a friend who insisted the answer to the question "What version of the kernel are you running?" was "gnome".
jagerman	eval: $POE::Kernel::VERSION
buubot	jagerman: 1.2173
jagerman	\o/
Terminus	heh, a friend of mine only remembers me running ximian a few years ago and he keeps on asking me, "why don't you run ximian again?" where ximian == OS for him.
bp31416	jagerman: could be worse lingo-wise, in tech-support many folks asking on Q about 'THEIR internet' isn't working, or 'does it have internet installed?', I .....like.... sir.... when did you manage to buy the internet in whole? ....... ahhhh... the internet is not a socket you plug in any of the ports sir

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Versions of Software

The Holy Extreme Programming in Freenode's #perl

rindolf	"We're doing XP [= Extreme Programming] here, so you need to know Ruby, you need to know Design Patterns and you need to know Refactoring."
rindolf	XP may have become a religion.
ew73	I Refactored yesterday!
rindolf	ew73: using which refactoring pattern?
ew73	Leviticus 13:22
Somni	well you will keep refactoring until you get it right!
* rindolf	extracts the ew73 method.
rindolf	ew73: this is one of my favourite refactoring patterns.
* ew73	idly looks up said passage, just to see if it's any good.
integral	What do you have to know to claim you know refactoring?
integral	How to click buttons in the right Eclipse menu?
rindolf	integral: the code is in Ruby.
integral	Ruby is too cool to be in Eclipse?
ew73	integral: One time, I moved all this stuff to another subroutine!
ew73	Lev. 13:22. And if it spread, he shall judge him to have the leprosy:
rindolf	integral: no, but you cannot refactor Ruby code automatically using Eclipse.
integral	One time I wrote all this code, but when I was about to go home I found I'd left my brain at home! LOLZ
integral	ew73: good butter advert in that

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Extreme Programming as a Religion

To be here or not to be here on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	Hi all.
rindolf	LeoNerd: here?
LeoNerd	rindolf: Maybe
rindolf	LeoNerd: "be here or be not here - there is no maybe"
LeoNerd	:)
rindolf	LeoNerd: a.k.a the law of the exclusion of the middle.
dwu	I think Yoda phrased that one best. To

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	To be here or not to be here on Freenode's #perl

Monkey Business at Freenode's #perl

perlmonkey	thats just...mental
rindolf	perlmonkey2: still here?
perlmonkey2	rindolf: hi
rindolf	perlmonkey2: hi.
perlmonkey	phew
rindolf	perlmonkey2: now we have two Perl monkeys.
perlmonkey2	hah
perlmonkey2	good stuff
perlmonkey2	You can never have too many.
PeaceNLove	To produce good stuff like Shakespeare's works, we need an infinite number of monkeys
perlmonkey	we're starting a monkey clan
rindolf	PeaceNLove: heh.
rindolf	PeaceNLove: and to write like a monkey we need a million Shakespeares.
PeaceNLove	perlmonkey, reproduce and multiply, God be with you
perlmonkey2	PeaceNLove: You can, of course, do anything with an infinite number of perl monkeys.
perlmonkey2	PeaceNLove: Actually a million monkeys on a million typewriters would most probably have not created Hamlet if they started at the beginning of the Universe.
PeaceNLove	perlmonkey2, that's fine, the Universe has not ended yet, they have time

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Monkey Business at Freenode's #perl

We don't Know His Cellphone

We don't know his cellphone number, and even if we did, we would tell you that we didn't know it.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Not a bug on #offtopic on OFTC

rindolf	sarnold: you go to OGI?
sarnold	rindolf: no; but my boss and a co-worker are professors there, and other co-workers earned degrees there..
rindolf	sarnold: OK.
muli	sarnold, have you got one of those pesky things?
sarnold	muli: just Bachelor of Arts .. no Masters or Ph.D...
rindolf	sarnold: B.Sc or B.A.?
muli	rindolf, Bachelor of Arts is B.A.
rindolf	muli: I know. But I was just checking.
sarnold	rindolf: ah, you're right, B.Sc.. I chickened out on the language requirements :)
rindolf	muli: see?? LOL.
muli	rindolf, sometimes, two bugs cancel each other.
rindolf	muli: wisely spoken.
rindolf	But mine wasn't a bug - it was a sanity check.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Not a bug

Engrew Sentence #1

plis tak mi auot from yuor mail list.

-- This Engrew sentence contains very few errors. -- From a message sent to Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Who you're gonna call on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	Hmmm... xchat-perl is gone.
f00li5h	OH NOES! ## what's that for then?
rindolf	Who you're gonna call? Bug-busters!!
Khisanth	rindolf: never existed, unless you are using an rpm based system
rindolf	Khisanth: I am.
f00li5h	I AINT AFRAID OF NO BUG!
rindolf	f00li5h: heh.
f00li5h	when there's something wierd and in your code base, who you gonna call?
railbait	f00li5h: The police?
f00li5h	railbait: BUG BUSTERS!
f00li5h	we test it with science then blow it up
f00li5h	... or is that someone else

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Who you're gonna call?

Tribute to the Prisoner on Freenode's #perl

Hazard	How do I look up @- in the perldocs?
rindolf	Hazard: perldoc perlvar
Hazard	rindolf: Thanks.
Daveman	perldoc rindolf
Hazard	I don't know what I'd do without IRC.
rindolf	Daveman: I am not a pragma! I'm a free man!
Hazard	I couldn't even google that.
rindolf	use Daveman (qw(silliness));
* jetscreamer	sends rindolf back to the village
rindolf	jetscreamer: is it a Perlisoner village where everyone becomes a pragma?
jetscreamer	and lots of perlBalloons
Daveman	gumbybrain, how do i make teh web wit shlomi!?
rindolf	jetscreamer: Perloons.
rindolf	jetscreamer: Perlunatics.
apeiron	Perlarks.
Daveman	perlaugh

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Tribute to the Prisoner

The Messiah of Perl on Freenode's #perl

ubajas	Technically, my first language was Turbo Pascal, but I started over with Perl 10 years later (not having programmed in the meantime). I'm obviously damaged goods.
iank	ubajas: heh, I read that as "I started with (perl 10) (years later)" instead of "I started with perl (10 years later)" :)
rindolf	Perl 10!
rindolf	Perl for the Fourth Millenium.
jagerman	I thought Perl 6 was supposed to be timeless
ubajas	iank: Maybe I should have added a comma. :-]
jagerman	Perl ∞
iank	perl6 has existed since the beginning of time, or at least it will have existed since then once $Larry finds a time machine.
simcop2387	iank: i'm sorry but larry is the prophet i am the messanger! i will be the one to take it back!
iank	WHAT.
simcop2387	iank: its MY TIME MACHINE!
* iank	smacks simcop2387 around
jagerman	iank: So it'll be like that Star Trek episode, where they say that the development of computers are caused by time travel from the future?
jagerman	Except that they were too stupid (like most Voyager writers) to get their facts right, and thought computers started in the 70s

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Messiah of Perl

One rindolf Each on Freenode's #perl

milardovich	with strict it say me this:
milardovich	Global symbol "$lorem" requires explicit package name at split.pl line 3.
rindolf	milardovich: use "my $lorem = "
rindolf	milardovich: my is your friend.
rindolf	pun not intended.
rindolf	my is my friend.
dwu	Preferably with a real value after "= " ^.^
rindolf	dwu: he already has that.
milardovich	that works with my rindolf
milardovich	thaks you!!!
rindolf	milardovich: you're welcome.
milardovich	:)
ubajas	I wish I had a rindolf too. :-\
milardovich	people here are "nicer" than on #php :P
rindolf	ubajas: I'm mass-produced at Chines sweat-shops.
ubajas	hehe
rindolf	ubajas: they sell me for 30 bucks a piece.
rindolf	milardovich: I've heard some horrible stories about ##php.
milardovich	perl rulz x)
rindolf	milardovich: what brings you to Perl?
simcop2387	rindolf: #php apparantly
rindolf	simcop2387: heh.
rindolf	simcop2387++

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	One rindolf Each on Freenode's #perl

What do you mean?

What do you mean by "WDYM"?

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Are you being verbed on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	cl1: what do you do at work?
cl1	i write code :D
rindolf	cl1: naturally.
rindolf	cl1: to do what?
cl1	right now at this contract, i'm working with .net, c#, asp.net and pl/sql
rindolf	cl1: sounds enterprisey.
BinGOs	please don't turn enterprise into a verb.
rindolf	BinGOs: enterprisey is an adjective, not a verb.
LeoNerd	Enterprizationaliseation?
BinGOs	okay.
cl1	lol @ enterprisey
rindolf	GumbyBRAIN: BinGOs me!
GumbyBRAIN	i tend to be good, it doesn't want me to buy an island utopia (you'll get used to bother me.
BinGOs	But it is a noun and no more.
BinGOs	mmmkay.
dwu	BinGOs: Actually, it's also an adjective. Even without "y".
BinGOs	I HATE YOU ALL.
* dwu	grin
BinGOs	CRITIQUE IS DEFINITELY A FUCKING NOUN.
dwu	It's also a verb.
BinGOs	NO IT ISN'T
simcop2387	BinGOs: i shall critique your use of critique
BinGOs	JUST BECAUSE SOME DAMNED YANKEE SCUM DECIDE IT IS, DOES NOT MAKE IT SO.
dwu	It's been used since the 18th century.
rindolf	BinGOs: dwued!
BinGOs	I refer you to my earlier hate.
dwu	I refer you to your fail.
icke	not earlier than 18th century
dwu	I really shouldn't. It's mean. But I will.
dwu	Because I'm mean.
dwu	icke: Hence "since".
dwu	'criticises'.
BinGOs	My fail-gun appears to firing backwards. Damn thing.
dwu	Your fail gun is... failing?

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Are you being verbed on Freenode's #perl

Windows-minus-minus

Chen Shapira: spent 5 hours yesterday trying to get Windows to print on my new wireless printer. It still doesn't work. On Ubuntu it worked after few minutes.

Shlomi Fish: Heh. Linux++ .

Chen Shapira: I'd do Windows-- , but this may result in an integer underflow.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

How much Perl do you need at Freenode's #perl

shishirm1	is pop3 module avaliable only in perl 5?
jernster	are you saying you use something other than 5?
icke	perl 4 didn't even have modules
jernster	heh
rindolf	shishirm1: do you want to use it with Perl 4?
shishirm1	oh ok sorry i am comlete nooob!! so i am just asking you guys
shishirm1	nope is perl 5 a standard now?
jernster	yes
shishirm1	ok great...
jernster	:)
rindolf	shishirm1: Perl 4 is unmaintained, unloved, deprecated, not recommended, and dead - D. E. D. - DEAD!
simcop2387-lap	perl 4 is an EXPERL!
simcop2387-lap	all statements that perl4 is a going concern are thus inoperative.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	How much Perl do you need at Freenode's #perl

"Use qmail Instead" Excerpt #1

A few days ago I joined #mandriva on Freenode trying to get to the bottom of a problem I have with KMail at work, where I cannot start KAddressBook from inside it. I asked my question and soon afterwards received:

* One Thunderbird recommendation.
* Two Evolution recommendations.
* One Sylpheed Claws recommendation.
* One GMail recommendation.

The problem is that I wasn't interested to learn about alternative E-mail clients, and just wanted to get my problem solved. And in GMail's case it was completely out of the question due to my work's constraints.

-- Shlomi Fish in -- http://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/computers/web/use-qmail-instead/

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	The "Use qmail instead" Syndrome

RTFM vs. JATFM

RTFM vs. JATFM --------------

I recently had to figure out how to do something with wget: get everything below a directory on the web-server, without following links to outside it. So I logged in to FreeNode's #debian channel, where there are many knowledgable people to ask it. The first answer I got was "RTFM". So, I read the wget man page, but could not find it there. Eventually, after telling people that it would be faster to give an answer, I got a reply ( add the -np -r flags). But this has been the last straw.

I composed my own acronym. Just like RTFM is "Read the Fabulous Manual" and STFW is "Search the Fabulous Web", then JATFM is "Just Answer the Fabulous Man". It means that it's usually faster to answer someone's question than to ask him to RTFM, which is just going to annoy him. I think the RTFM mantra has done a lot of damage in the UNIX/Linux world, and I hope JATFMing would prove to be a more healthy ideology.

-- Shlomi Fish in -- http://www.advogato.org/person/shlomif/diary.html?start=215

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

I have to do TWAIN…

A: I'm busy right now - I have to do TWAIN.

B: Do Shania Twain?

C: Oh, I'd love to do Shania Twain.

-- Adapted from a conversation on Freenode's #perl

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

Fight for Perl

→spx2	has joined #soc-help
spx2	I want to FIGHT FOR PERL IN GSOC !
spx2	I feel the power of metal in my veins
spx2	perl is flowing in my blood !
spx2	What perl Armies can I join this YEAR ?
ambs	spx2: a lot :)
spx2	ambs: Hail BRETHREN !
spx2	where are the armies ???
spx2	I want to ENGAGE and start preparing my weapons !
spx2	ambs: what projects are this year ?
ambs	spx2: ideas at http://www.perlfoundation.org/perl5/index.cgi?gsoc2008_projects
spx2	I will fight this year in the PERL battle !
rindolf	spx2: Python is for the WEAK and TIMID!
spx2	rindolf: TOTALLY !
* spx2	examines the war grounds

Channel	#soc-help
Network	MAGNet
Tagline	Fight for Perl

Conditional-to-Inheritance Refactoring on Freenode's #perl

edeca	Hrm. More infernal questions, mainly because I am trying to make my perl prettier and contain less nasty if's. I have $foo and $bar which are obtained from split(/ /, 'kitten loving'). But I don't want undef if the split fails, I'd rather '' for $bar or both. What's the nicest way to do that?
Khisanth	($foo, $bar) = map { $_ // "" } split / /, $str; # 5.10 version :)
edeca	Noo 5.10! :)
Khisanth	($foo, $bar) = map { defined $_ ? $_ : "" } split / /, $str; # probably some other shorter ways too
rindolf	edeca: [bad idea] you can also try using the conditional->inheritance refactoring.
rindolf	:-)
* Khisanth	pours boiling coffee on rindolf
rindolf	Khisanth: I hate coffee, but I guess I deserved it.
rindolf	That was a joke, of course.
Khisanth	you weren't really supposed to like having boiling anything poured on you but I guess you are into the kinkier stuff

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Conditional-to-Inheritance Refactoring on Freenode's #perl

Geek love on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	rbastic: QBasic was the sh*t!
rindolf	rbastic: well, not really.
rbastic	rindolf: yup, that language is responsible for me having gotten into programming to begin with.
rbastic	8 yrs old and writing qbasic scripts with QBasic for Dummies by my side
rindolf	rbastic: I started when I was 10.
rindolf	rbastic: I know some people who started much later.
talexb	Late bloomer .. didn't start till I was 15.
Zoffix	heh, I started at 14... I could not have a computer before that
rindolf	rbastic: but I know a girl who started programming when she was 6.
rindolf	Or was it 8?
Zoffix	rindolf, CAN HAS PHONE NUMBER?!
rbastic	lol
rindolf	Zoffix: NO CAN!
Zoffix	:(
rindolf	Zoffix: only have her MSN.
Zoffix	gimmegimmegimme
talexb	Heh.
Zoffix	:)
rindolf	Zoffix: LOL.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Geek Love

The Grand Unified Programming Language

rbastic	Juerd: eh in today's world of heavy JS on the clientside, i think it makes a little more sense to use the same lang. everywhere
Juerd	rbastic: JS on the client side is because often it's the only option the universe provides.
rbastic	Juerd: from a business perspective, you reduce the complexity and potential difficulties in finding new hires with the same skillset
rindolf	rbastic: have you heard of RJS?
Juerd	rbastic: On the server side, however, you have great freedom.
rbastic	rindolf: no, what's that?
Caelum	larry wants perl6 to run on javascript :)
rindolf	rbastic: "One Language; and One Sayings".
Juerd	rbastic: Exactly. I would never hire a server side programmer who knows only Javascript, and is too stupid to learn whatever we're using on the server side.
rindolf	rbastic: my translation to a sentence from the Tower of Babel myth.
rbastic	Juerd: i'll agree with that also. any real programmer knows or has at least coded in half a dozen languages before
Juerd	From a business perspective, you should avoid crap coders at all cost.
Juerd	Knows or has coded... Hmmm...!
rindolf	rbastic: though according to what most scholars believe it was not about using one language but rather thinking the same.
Juerd	I hope they haven't coded in half a dozen languages without knowing them.
Juerd	That'd be scary.
zshzn	Reality is scary, Juerd
talexb	Hmm, BASIC, FORTRAN, COBOL, assembler, C, more assembler, C, Pascal ... Perl!

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Grand Unified Programming Language

Can I haz a fast compiler on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	rbastic: now I'm working with C++.
rindolf	rbastic: I found out that my project compiles really quickly.
rindolf	rbastic: under 5 or 10 minutes on a P4-2.4GHz with 1 GB of RAM.
rindolf	rbastic: maybe KDE is making g++ look bad.
rbastic	rindolf: yeah, i'm not a big KDE fan
rindolf	rbastic: actually I'm using KDE-3.5.8 here.
rindolf	rbastic: I was talking about the compilation speed of KDE apps and KDE itself.
rindolf	rbastic: possibly because each file has half-a-gazillion headers.
rindolf	My C++ code is a server one, so we don't have too many deps.
rbastic	yeah, isn't there a way to cache header files? ie. in their "compiled" form?
rbastic	or is that something I'm remembering from some other programming language that purported to build on top of C?
rindolf	rbastic: MSVC has that.
rbastic	ahh, nods
rindolf	rbastic: no, Visual C++ has precompiled headers.
rindolf	rbastic: I remember that I kept deleting them.
rbastic	yeah, couldn't remember
rbastic	lol
rindolf	Pascal compiles very quickly.
rindolf	That's one of the things I enjoyed in Delphi.
rbastic	ugh, the app i'm been maintaining in Java was originally a fat client/server desktop app, written in Delphi
rindolf	rbastic: ah.
rbastic	i remember booting up the old app for the first time, and being amazed at how slow it was
rbastic	eventually, i had to duplicate a feature in the Java code and i wasn't sure how it was implemented before
rindolf	rbastic: you mean the Java app is faster? :S
rbastic	so being as i had no Delphi experience, and the newer Delphi environments made NO sense to me at all, i just opened up the SQL Server query analyzer
rbastic	rindolf: yes, but only b/c the Delphi programmer was an idiot, issuing queries over and over again needlessly
rbastic	rindolf: if you could've seen the MSSQL Performance Analyzer or whatever, it was basically just.. Query1, Query2, Query3, Query1, Query2, Query3, repeat.
rbastic	it was probably the worst ive ever seen in my life.. belongs on www.thedailywtf.com

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Can I haz a fast compiler

I think too much - therefore I blog too much on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	scrottie: hi.
scrottie	hi rindolf!
rindolf	scrottie: are you the scrottie from use.perl.org?
scrottie	yeah.
rindolf	scrottie: ah, nice to meet you.
rindolf	Well, chat with you on IRC at least.
* scrottie	cowers from the swinging fist probably coming his way
rindolf	scrottie: I'm "Shlomi%20Fish"
scrottie	oh, heh, thanks
rindolf	It's a curse.
scrottie	hmm. i vaguely remember interesting stuff from you but can't honestly place what.
scrottie	I know I've seen you around here before too.
rindolf	Yeah, my use.perl.org blog is mostly technical and perl-related.
scrottie	I post on use.perl.org entirely too much.
rindolf	So it may be a bit boring.
rindolf	Sometimes it's a bit philosophical.
rindolf	scrottie: yes.
scrottie	heh. and mine is offensively off-topic.
rindolf	scrottie: I have other blogs.
scrottie	I've posted to livejournal twice!

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	I think too much - therefore I blog too much

"How intrusive do you want your text to be?" on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	Can we add styles like <b>, <i>, etc.?
rindolf	Or colours?
rindolf	Or blink?
rindolf	Or images?
rindolf	Or flash applets?
scrottie	<banner>!
alanhaggai	rindolf: No I think. Google's Web Application does not allow them. It is just a <textarea>.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	How intrusive do you want your text to be?

Freenode's #pearl

rindolf	scrottie: you are a native English speaker right?
rindolf	scrottie: do you know #linguistics ?
scrottie	not familiar with #linguistics, yes, I am a native English speaker, but my spelling is atr... my spelling is terrible.
rindolf	atrocious?
scrottie	yeah, that
scrottie	I have an xterm dedicated to dict/spell
rindolf	scrottie: spelling is probably easy to fix using aspell.
rindolf	scrottie: heh.
rindolf	scrottie: I'm using xchat which has an red-line for spelling mistakes.
rindolf	Very useful.
rindolf	Too bad I'm using British spelling where it sometimes misbehaves.
rindolf	aspell, I mean.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Freenode's #pearl

"Lame even" on Freenode's #perl

rindolf	A lot of ise's [in Aspell's British Spelling checker] are false positivies.
rindolf	positives even.
rindolf	People who say $minor_spelling_correction even, are lam.
rindolf	lame even.
rindolf	I never get tired of these self-referential jokes.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Lame even

The Third #perl Reich (on Freenode #perl).

scrottie	The tech side was there... but I was stuck with my fucking graphics I did in crayon. I kid you not. Crayon.
scrottie	It was a cry for help.
scrottie	Programmers will work with each other on fun projects, but graphic designers never get involved in stuff like that.
rindolf	scrottie: ah.
scrottie	then there's kingdomofloathing.com... stick figures.
rindolf	scrottie: there are some graphic designers who contribute to KDE, GNOME, etc.
scrottie	fuck graphic artists. we should round them all up and burn them.
rindolf	scrottie: heh.
scrottie	okay, they can live.
rindolf	scrottie: scrotitler!
scrottie	the rest get burnt though.
rindolf	"He who starts by burning graphics desginers will end up burning programmers."
scrottie	only the ASP and PHP programmers... then we'll see where things are at and re-evaluate the plan.
rindolf	First they came to the graphics designers...
Khisanth	then they came for more graphics designers
rindolf	scrottie: I knew some very nice PHP programmers.
rindolf	And VB ones.
scrottie	yeah, me too. real shame.
rindolf	scrottie: I still know some PHP programmers.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Third #perl Reich (on Freenode #perl).

Perl Saints as an Alternative to Perl Heroes

> So, yeah... there are no gods, only heroes.  And anyone can become
> a hero.  And even heroes are just regular people.
>

I don't suppose we should propose that as an alternative to Perl Gods, there
should at least be Perl Saints:

http://www.stallman.org/saint.html

Of course, I'm not sure what being a Perl saint would imply. Using nothing but
Perl? (Including not C in which perl 5 is written?)

Oh well.

Not that I mind the Perl Gods stereotype stuff.

Regards,

        Shlomi Fish (a Perl saint^W hero wannabe, but definitely
        not a Perl God)

    --

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Post to to San-Fransisco Perl Mongers Mailing List

What does being a Perl Saint Implies

> > > Of course, I'm not sure what being a Perl saint would imply.
> >
> >  It would imply having been killed for your faith in Perl.
>
> Does that make Randal the Spanish Inquisition?

No one expects the Randal Schwartz condition ;)

    -- Shlomi Fish, frosty, Duane Obrien and David Fetter in:
    --http://mail.pm.org/pipermail/sanfrancisco-pm/2008-April/001650.html

San-Fransisco Perl Mongers Randal Schwartz Noise Band

>  > > > Of course, I'm not sure what being a Perl saint would imply.
>  > >
>  > >  It would imply having been killed for your faith in Perl.
>  >
>  > Does that make Randal the Spanish Inquisition?
>
>  No on expects the Randal Schwartz condition ;)

I almost feel honor bound now to start a noise band called The Randal
Schwartz Condition.  I could shout his rants into a microphone while
the rest of the band flogged a newbie live on stage.

    -- Duane Obrien in:
    -- http://mail.pm.org/pipermail/sanfrancisco-pm/2008-April/001651.html

San-Fransisco Perl Mongers Randal Schwartz Condition

>>>>> "Duane" == Duane Obrien <duane.obrien at gmail.com> writes:

Duane> Alternately, The Randal Schwartz Condition is now accepting bookings
Duane> for birthdays, weddings, religious ceremonies of any kind, or occasions
Duane> where your consulting company throws a big party at some conference.
Duane> Email me off-list for details on how to get advance copies of our demo
Duane> "I'm The Real Tim Toady"

I'm already thinking of words to the "tune" of "I'm the real Slim Shady".

Damn you. :)

    -- Duane Obrien and Randal L. Schwartz
    -- http://mail.pm.org/pipermail/sanfrancisco-pm/2008-April/001655.html

Godwin's Law

> > In that case, lacking good links or a definitive reference text, I'll have
> > to ignore your comment earlier.
> >
> > I hope it's not much of a flamewar so far, but it sure seems to have
> > escalated into a minor one. "You are a Nazi!"
> > ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law ) - oops!
>
> Please.  The Nazi's were socialists.  I'm a little to the right of
> Attila the Hun.
>

And I thought Attila was a Humanitarian.

    -- Shlomi Fish, Guy Hulbert and Shlomi Fish in:
    -- http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.module-authors/2008/04/msg6432.html

Author	Shlomi Fish and Guy Hulbert
Work	Post to the Perl module-authors mailing list

Pedantic People

I often wonder why I hang out with so many people who are so pedantic. And then I remember - because they are so pedantic.

-- an Israeli Perl Monger

Author	Israeli Perl Monger
Work	Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection

The Name "Bunny"

→B-rabbit	has joined #perl
rindolf	B-rabbit? I know a B-rat on #linguistics.
B-rabbit	rindolf, cool =]
rindolf	B-rabbit: ok.
B-rabbit	my full name is bunny rabbit bt w :)
B-rabbit	hehe
rindolf	B-rabbit: ah.
rindolf	B-rabbit: "bunny" is a female name.
B-rabbit	lol
pippijn	rindolf: correct
pippijn	I know a bunny
rindolf	Or a Playboy bunny.
ik	rindolf: bunny is a stripper name
pippijn	friends call her bun
ik	pippijn: is she a stripper?
B-rabbit	rindolf, i am a male lol x sorry to disappoint u
rindolf	"IRC: Where men are men, women are men, and the kids are FBI agents."
rindolf	B-rabbit: ok, no problem.
ik	pippijn: she should change her name
pippijn	ik: it doesn't hurt her
ik	pippijn: right, but she's violating a fundamental law
ik	pippijn: she either needs to change her name or become a stripper
rindolf	ik: I think the other option is better.
pippijn	ik: she'd probably become a stripper rather than changing her name
rindolf	pippijn: LOL.
ik	rindolf: yeah, but you're creepy
rindolf	I think I'll make a fortune out of it.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Name "Bunny"

Variable Naming on #not-##freebsd

rindolf	p13: do you write scripts?
p13	rindolf, init scripts and sys maintenance scripts in csh sh and bash
p13	but i suck
p13	haha
p13	i made them SO unreadable on purpose too
p13	my var names for example
p13	i would use random quotes from coworkers
p13	like "wereoutofcoffee"
p13	or "ihatemyjob"
p13	etc etc
trashguy	i hate people lik eyou p13
p13	trashguy, hahaha
trashguy	atleast the variabls are obvious and not mistaken for functions and shit
elgrande	i stringly recommend to call variables only: var1, var2, var3 ... var999
elgrande	but for purpose of clarity, after var999 continue with varB1, varB2,...
rindolf	elgrande: <elgrande> i stringly recommend to call variables only: var1, var2, var3 ... var999 - excellent advice.
rindolf	elgrande: LOL.
elgrande	rindolf: and of course: cls1, func1, meth1, if1
elgrande	so if var3 > var2 then var1 = cls3->meth2 endif
rindolf	elgrande: heh.
rindolf	obj997
elgrande	everyone is understand this!
rindolf	elgrande: I'll probably make a fortune cookie out of it.
elgrande	obj997 bevahes like this, because it implements if371
elgrande	^^
rindolf	elgrande: you're still going.

Channel	#not-##freebsd
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Variable Naming

Monty Python on Computer Interfaces

<monty-python>

A: You Linux kids are so lucky. When we were using Windows 95 and Windows 3.11 it kept getting stuck and we lost all our data. We had to reboot it.

B: You used Windows 95! Lucky Bastard! When I was your age, we used DOS on CGA screens, and we were lucky if we had 4 colors, much less a true windowing environment.

C: You had DOS with graphics? Lucky bastard! When I was your age, I used VT-100 terminals connected to a VAX. 128 characters should be enough for everybody?

D: Visual Terminals? When I was your age, we used teletypes on a PDP-11: the computer printed on paper - very slowly. Can you imagine cat'ing a really long document?

E: Teletypes were heaven compared to the punch cards that I was using. Imagine going over to the computer with a large amount of punch cards and then dropping them all.

F: Punch cards! What is this talk about punch cards? We inputted machine code direclty using buttons and LEDs.

G: And all we had were NAND gates!

</monty-python>

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Email Message

#python on Incrementing

rindolf	Hi all.
scorchsaber	<all> Hi rindolf
rindolf	scorchsaber: heh.
rindolf	scorchsaber++
rindolf	Or in Python:
rindolf	scorchsaber+=1
rillo	??
rindolf	rillo: Python does not have a ++ operator.
scorchsaber	rindolf: Oh, but it does have a + operator.
rillo	ah. i'm new to python so i diddnt know
scorchsaber	A few days ago, it was suggested that I implement ++ using the + operator.
scorchsaber	And I did so. :)
scorchsaber	So, really, a++; is valid in Python, and it may even increment a by one. If somebody was crazy, anyhow, and if a was mutable.
rillo	shall i move back to perl to get the ++
rillo	?
rindolf	rillo: no, use COBOL instead.
rindolf	ADD 1 TO COBOL GIVING COBOL
verte	:(
verte	eww, magic numbers!
rindolf	"COBOL is the old Java"
verte	ADD ONE TO COBOL GIVING COBOL
rindolf	verte: heh.
rindolf	verte: 1 is not a magic number.
rindolf	ASSIGN 1 to ONE
rindolf	0, 1, infinity.
rindolf	verte: LOL.
rindolf	verte++
\amethyst	COMPUTE COBOL = COBOL + 1

Channel	#python
Network	Freenode
Tagline	On Incrementing

The Anti-School nazi

dazjorz	Hi rindolf :)
rindolf	Hi dazjorz
rindolf	dazjorz: what's up?
rindolf	dazjorz: No Tests for You?
rindolf	No *more
dazjorz	No more tests :)
rindolf	dazjorz: No more tests for you!!! For three months!
rindolf	dazjorz: nice!
dazjorz	:D
dazjorz	Two, I think

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The anti-School nazi

Emulating a Newbie on Perl

yrlnry	Hi, I heard that Perl is just HTML with some sort of macro preprocessor attached. So I thought you would be the right people to ask about whether there is a way to make the submitted value on an <input type=submit> different from the visible label on the button.
yrlnry	Thanks in advance.
* Roderick	tars and feathers yrlnry.
yrlnry	Hi, Roderick! How's the kid?
Somni	you have been misinformed, sir; Perl is just a regex engine with named variables
ne2k__	yrlnry: that is possibly one of the oddest questions I have ever heard
yrlnry	ne2k__: What's odd about "How's the kid?"
yrlnry	You need to get out more, seriously.
ne2k__	yrlnry: I meant the original question
Roderick	Congratulations, I hope it's going well.
yrlnry	Do you know that Jewish folktale about the man who lives in a tiny hut with his wife and kids and they can't stand the crowding any more, so they go to the rabbi for advice, and the rabbit suggests that they bring the chickens, goat, and cow into the house too?
ne2k__	yrlnry: not that it has anything to do with perl, but the <input> tag in HTML has both "name" and "value" attributes. the value is what gets shown in the browser typically.
yrlnry	ne2k__: yes, and the value is also what is submitted when someone presses the button, but I want the displayed label to be different from what it submitted, as it is say with <option ...>

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	yrlnry as a Perl newbie

Which Prefix do You Want Today?

mMish	hi rind
rindolf	Hi mMish
rindolf	mMish: now you're mMish ?
rindolf	mMish: are you eMish, oMish, aMish , etc?
mMish	yes
rindolf	mMish: ah, nice.
mMish	depends on the mood
rindolf	GumbyBRAIN: how many nicks must a one IRCer have?
GumbyBRAIN	Oh, i lie, now it's stuck on posting things to do it. You said you couldn't have one of many.
rindolf	mMish: ah OK.
rindolf	xMish
rindolf	iMish
rindolf	zMish
rindolf	Like the IBM computers.
rindolf	pMish
mMish	ppszMish <--- HUngarian
rindolf	mMish: LOL.
rindolf	lpstrMish
dazjorz	is lpstr a function?
dazjorz	get_magic_quotes_gpcMish
rindolf	dazjorz: no, Long Pointer to string.
dazjorz	PHP++ :')
rindolf	dazjorz: why?
rindolf	perlbot: karma PHP
perlbot	Karma for PHP: -147
LeoNerd	It takes some nerve to say "PHP++" in #perl :P
dazjorz	rindolf: because they have get_magic_quotes_gpc!
dazjorz	don't we all love get_magic_quotes_gpc!
rindolf	dazjorz: oh.
dazjorz	it's a function
rindolf	dazjorz: love, hate - what's the difference.
rindolf	dazjorz: that does what?
dazjorz	to get the value of magic_quotes_gpc in the config file.
rindolf	dazjorz: ah.
dazjorz	so they have get_magic_quotes_gpc for get_ini('magic_quotes_gpc')
rindolf	dazjorz: LOL.
dazjorz	plus, there's the magic_quotes_gpc to escape all input a script gets via POST, GET and COOKIE.
rindolf	dazjorz: yes, sounds Evil.
rindolf	Just use placeholders.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Which Prefix do you Want today?

Sextalk according to the cult of Perl

krang	Hey all, what's the best way to call one perl script from another? I was thinking I'd just use 'system("script.pl");'
dazjorz	krang: yeah, that, or do "script.pl"
dazjorz	krang: depends on how seperated you want them to be
krang	dazjorz: you mean just a line that has "script.pl"; written on it?
Khisanth	you need the do as well
dazjorz	krang: no, exactly this: do "script.pl";
rindolf	krang: system is usually what you want.
rindolf	krang: normally require or use are preferable to do
dazjorz	rindolf: that's for modules, isn't it ?
rindolf	dazjorz: yes.
dazjorz	wait, I think require "script.pl" would work too
rindolf	dazjorz: and doing code is not such a good idea.
dazjorz	rindolf: hmm?
krang	rindolf: what is doing anyway?
rindolf	dazjorz: I mean "perldoc -f do"-ing code.
rindolf	krang: do()-ing
rindolf	krang: it reads the file and evaluates it.
rindolf	krang: perldoc -f do.
dazjorz	rindolf: ah
dazjorz	rindolf: do {}
* rindolf	would rather be doing hot models than doing code. :-)
dazjorz	rindolf: yeah, do BLOCK is quite useless
dazjorz	heh
rindolf	dazjorz: you can do my $var = do { ... }
* dazjorz	would rather be doing GumbyBRAIN than doing code
GumbyBRAIN	and doing code is not be in the days of immortality!
rindolf	dazjorz: or eval { ... }
rindolf	dazjorz: heh.
rindolf	It's hard to do code.
dazjorz	do $model;
dazjorz	eh.. sorry, do $hotmodel;
rindolf	"Are you into my brother?"
rindolf	"No I'm totally into Perl."
krang	ah ok, I see. Thanks guys!
rindolf	krang: yw.
dazjorz	heh :-)
rindolf	If you want a configuration file, you should be using something like INI, YAML, etc.
rindolf	XML perhaps.
rindolf	Something.
rindolf	Apache-like config.
dazjorz	Apache-like is very strong but hard to parse, right ?
dazjorz	Loading and saving configuration never looks good, especially when it's XML
dazjorz	the code to load and save is ugly.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Sextalk among Perl cultists

I Met a Guy in the Bar

I met a guy in the bar, talked to her and she gave me her phone number.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

BASIC, Pugs and After Death

rindolf	TimToady: so BASIC was your first language?
TimToady	no, English was my first language. :)
rindolf	TimToady: I started with XT ROM BASIC, but I suppose it was something like Perl 5 was to Perl 4 for your BASIC.
rindolf	BASIC has greatly evolved since Dartmouth BASIC.
rindolf	TimToady: ah.
rindolf	TimToady: not Chomsky's Universal language?
TimToady	feh
diakopter	rindolf: what's the name of the Parrot implementation of Intercal?
Juerd	21:04 <@TimToady> we have a test suite right now because of pugs
Juerd	Very, very important.
rindolf	diakopter: I don't know.
rindolf	Juerd: yes, very.
rindolf	Juerd: anyway, I expect that at every given time all tests will pass.
Juerd	Well, there are probably bad tests too :)
Juerd	Given the volume of the suite, and that pugs has never been able to even parse everything :0
Juerd	:)
TimToady	testrot accounts for many of those :)
rindolf	TimToady: testrot...
rindolf	TimToady++
rindolf	How long does it take Pugs to run the entire Pugs test suite?
TimToady	but a number of them were misunderstandings at the time
rindolf	Because Pugs is kinda slow.
diakopter	defudge should be renamed Passover...
TimToady	used to run on my old laptop in about 25 minutes
rindolf	TimToady: or cute bugs.
rindolf	I mean implementation details.
rindolf	TimToady: kinda long.
TimToady	audreyt's dual core used to run them in 10 minutes
TimToady	I haven't tried on my new laptop, since I haven't installed the lates ghc yet
TimToady	first make it run, then make it run right, then make it run fast
rindolf	TimToady: another problem with Pugs is that it kept requiring the latest ghc.
Juerd	Did pugs drive GHC development perhaps? :D
TimToady	shrug, you shouldn't pick on a software project when it's down
TimToady	Juerd: yes, I believe some of that happened too
rindolf	TimToady: "After Death - say holy."
rindolf	TimToady: it's a Hebrew phrase.
TimToady	Actually, I'm just about out of After Death--I've got a bottle of Mega Death now too.
TimToady	just had some on my potatoes, yum.
spinclad	sounds hot
TimToady	of the first six ingredients, five of them are hot. Red habanero pods, cayenne chilies, white vinegar, natural pepper flavor, ancho chilies, chipotle chilies, molasses, guava nectar, fresh ginger, salt, spices.
TimToady	'bout 550,000 scovilles
TimToady	After Death is only about 500k
TimToady	Tabasco is only about 35k
spinclad	tabasco i'm calibrated on -- now i can (only) imagine
TimToady	so roughly 15 times hotter
spinclad	'add 1/15 drop per 100 potatoes'
TimToady	I generally only use it about one "plop" at a time
TimToady	unless I really want a large endorphin kick
rindolf	TimToady: LOL.
spinclad	enjoy yr clear sinuses
rindolf	TimToady+=5
rindolf	"After Death"
rindolf	Reminds me of that screensaver.
rindolf	"After Hours"
vixey	After Dark
vixey	with the flying toasters?
rindolf	vixey: yes, that's the one.
rindolf	Also had a nice Looney Tunes one.
rindolf	"I now proclaim this computer in the name of Mars!"
rindolf	(Marvin the Martian)++
vixey	they were cool
rindolf	I recall something about wine being able to run Windows screensavers.
spinclad	"where's the kaboom? there was meant to be a case-shattering kaboom."
rindolf	XScreenSaver is a pre-Autoconf hell from what I understood.

Channel	#perl6
Network	Freenode
Tagline	BASIC, Pugs and "After Death"

f00li5h inviting rindolf to Australia

f00li5h	rindolf: are you coming out this way on tour some time?
rindolf	f00li5h: to .au?
f00li5h	yes!
rindolf	f00li5h: don't think so.
f00li5h	you can pay some of my rent for a bit ^_^
rindolf	f00li5h: I'm out of job too.
f00li5h	perfect timing!
f00li5h	no commitments
* f00li5h	is very good at constructing circular arguments due to his skill in constructing circular arguments

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Will rindolf come to Australia?

On the Internet

Two female dogs talking about modern-life:

Jasmine: It's so cool! On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog!

Daisy: Yeah, but everyone can tell right away that you're a bitch!

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

#perl6 about Lisp Mentality and Usability

pmurias	rindolf: what is Park/Spark?
rindolf	pmurias: http://www.shlomifish.org/open-source/projects/Park-Lisp/
rindolf	pmurias: it's still incomplete.
rindolf	And I haven't updated it.
pmurias	rindolf: if you like lisp/perl6 projects you might consider helping with a common lisp elf backend
rindolf	pmurias: Common Lisp.
rindolf	pmurias: thing is I think both CL and Scheme suck.
rindolf	I like Lisp as a concept.
rindolf	Arc is nice, but has too many implementation problems.
rindolf	And missing features.
vixey	Arc is not nice
rindolf	I want to give a presentation to the Perl Mongers about "Foreign Languages: Lisp"
rindolf	vixey: I like it.
rindolf	Though I hate that "(not)" has become "(no)"
rindolf	it's so non-English.
vixey	it's just TCL with horrible syntax
rindolf	vixey: but it's missing a lot of exciting features.
rindolf	Which PG deemed as unnecessary.
rindolf	Doesn't look like the 100-years language to me.
rindolf	Which is why - Spark!
pmurias	why not just write an s-expression p6 dialect?
rindolf	pmurias: could be.
rindolf	pmurias: it's another approach.
rindolf	But some things make sense in Lisp and not in p6.
rindolf	For example, Perl does not like to use + for string or list concat.
rindolf	While Python does and it seems to be OK in Arc too.
rindolf	And in CL you have (concatenate) (yuck!).
pbuetow	(((hehe)))
pmurias	+ for strings sucks
Auzon	seconded.
vixey	rindolf: If you don't like CONCATENATE you can just rename it
rindolf	vixey: yeah.
rindolf	vixey: but I'd rather not rename concatenate because then people won't understand my code.
rindolf	vixey: as TimToady said people hate abstractions.
vixey	yes they will rindolf
rindolf	They want things to work out of the box.
vixey	A program is many many totally newly defined procedures
vixey	just renaming one thing is nothing in the context of a big program
rindolf	vixey: "let's spend 3 days creating a new language, and 1 day implementing the solution with it."
TimToady	if it would take 10 days without the new language, it's worth it
rindolf	TimToady: yeah.
rindolf	TimToady: but this is the CL mentality.
vixey	no it's not
rindolf	Sometimes you can take 1 day to write an API.
vixey	CL is too diverse you cannot generalize like that
rindolf	vixey: I meant a common idiom there.
rindolf	I think I'll /quit and do something productive.
rindolf	Like work on Spark.
vixey	another quote:
vixey	how to write any computer program in two easy stages:
vixey	Design and implement the programming language which would be best for solving the problem.
vixey	Write the program in the language you’ve just implemented.
rindolf	vixey: or just use Perl which is the best for everything.
vixey	heh
TimToady	the second step is obvious--the best language for the job is one that does the job on a null input
* pmichaud	notes that vixey's algorithm is somewhat recursive
TimToady	"All rules of thumb are false, including this one."
pmurias	rindolf: when you feel like writing Common Lisp backends, contact me or mncharity ;)

Channel	#perl6
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Lisp Dialects (Scheme, Common Lisp, Arc, Spark) Mentality and Usability

kilmo about the NSA

[Discussing the shortage of IT workers as of 1998 on E-mail]

Shlomi Fish to Omer Zak: "Even the NSA doesn't have enough programmers. But it is not likely that they will have more and that's because 'Summerschool at the NSA' may might as well be the name of Sarah Michelle Gellar's next movie."

Omer Zak to Shlomi Fish: "And as opposed to 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' it is going to be scary."

Kilmo: why would you like to make fun 'bout the crypto world ? ;) The NSA does know what you did last summer. And by putting this on the web, they know that you know.

Which may lead to interesting philosophical issues. BTW, in a conference I was attending we were given a sticker saying: "NSA - free email backup".

They still have some issue with the retrieval procedures, but besides of that - they are quite a trusted service.

Shlomi Fish: In my case, I think every random joe can learn a lot about me. Even if he's not in Google or the NSA or whatever.

Kilmo: Yep. but this is a world-wide service that they offer. (Along with several cooperations, like MI5/6).

Author	Shlomi Fish and Kilmo
Work	Aphorisms Collection

What are you Working on?

Ran Eilam To Shlomi Fish: so what are you working on? Working on a new wiki about unit testing fortunes in freecell?

Author	Ran Eilam
Work	Jabber Conversation

The Love Life of Cats

pkrumins	today my kitty gave a birth to two kitties!
rindolf	pkrumins: ah, nice.
pkrumins	one of them died :(
pkrumins	during birth
rindolf	pkrumins: oh. :-(
simcop2387	pkrumins: were you expecting it to happen?
simcop2387	:(
pkrumins	simcop2387, i was expecting this week
rindolf	pkrumins: do you know who the father is?
simcop2387	ah
pkrumins	rindolf, some cat
simcop2387	rindolf: hopefully not him
pkrumins	rindolf, remember my kitty ran away
rindolf	pkrumins: ah.
pkrumins	for a week
rindolf	pkrumins: no I don't remember that.
pkrumins	well, she ran away for a week
rindolf	pkrumins: ah.
pkrumins	and came back
pkrumins	and during that time she got pregnant.
rindolf	pkrumins: ah.
freehaha	they don't seem to have safe sex
rindolf	pkrumins: she eloped.
simcop2387	pkrumins: sounds like she had fun
pkrumins	simcop2387, sounds like that :)
simcop2387	pkrumins: you should have the talk with her about birth control then (i wonder do they even make birth control for kitties)

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The Love Life of Cats

Black Beer

* rindolf	is listening to
rindolf	Oh crud.
rindolf	I should support Kaffeine too.
Tanktalus	rindolf is apparently deaf... ;-)
* rindolf	is listening to Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
ubajas	NOTHING ELSE MATTERS, DUDE
tkr	rindolf: thats nice :)
tkr	rindolf: how about guns 'n roses?
* rindolf	is listening to Guns and Runs - don't cry
rindolf	tkr: you read my mind.
rindolf	tkr: I now placed some of their songs.
rindolf	Now it's November Rain.
tkr	rindolf: next time youll come to finland Ill buy you a beer (with no alcohol)! :)
tkr	rindolf++
rindolf	tkr: OK.
rindolf	tkr: we have something called "Black Beer" in Israel.
rindolf	Which is a non-alcoholic beer.
simcop2387	rindolf: THATS RACIST! IT SHOULD BE AFRICAN AMERICAN ISREALI BEER!
edenc	rindolf: is it any good?
rindolf	simcop2387: heh .

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Beer, Perlers and Song

My blog post got chromatic'd

Well, despite the fact that I hardly publicised my last essay about the "Closed Books", it has been chromatic'd. Rumours are that all the bloggers whose blog posts/essays were deprecated on chromatic's blog are now rich, famous and the object of the affection of many attractive members of the appropriate sex. Memo to self: prepare a limited edition T-shirt: "My blog post was chromatic'd. I pwn you as a blogger."

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	"Dealing with Approval Addiction (and Implied Stress Periods)

Birth of an Editor

Richard M. Stallman (RMS) decides to release his brand-new editor, "Emacs" on the CPAN with its first version 29.999.99. In order to package it, he invokes the trusty ol' module-starter (see http://search.cpan.org/dist/Module-Starter/ ) which creates a skeleton of a CPAN distribution for him.

He fills in the skeleton with the actual code of Emacs, types "perl Build.PL", and "./Build test" and makes sure all the tests pass. Then he types "./Build config --gui" and gets a nice GUI to configure the various parameters of the Module meta-data.[M-B-Data]

In the GUI, Richard goes to the Trove categorisation tab, and selects categories. This is done in a similar way to Freshmeat's project categorisation dialog (a list of options to the left, with selected options to the right and arrows to move them left or right, while allowing multiple select options.). He chooses such categories as "Programming Language :: Lisp", and "Intended Audience :: Emacs Users", "Operating System :: GNU", and "Topic :: Editors". (Note: I believe the category list should be fetched using a public web-service to keep them up-to-date.)

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Functional Spec for the CPAN Classification Proposal

Second Birth of an Editor

After several weeks of having the editor on CPAN, Richard has received many patches, and wrote a lot of code on his own. Now Emacs is not only an editor but a calendar tool, an Eliza program, a web browser, a mail user agent and many other things.

So in order to release version 30.000.00 he needs to update the categorisation. He runs ./Build config --gui again, and adds more categories. However, he enters too many categories (because Emacs now does them all), and the GUI refuses to save the file because it will overflow the limit that the web-service specified the CPAN classification services allow to handle. So Richard keeps only the important categories, adds more tags, and saves it.

He then tests the distribution again, and uploads the new distribution to the CPAN.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Functional Spec for the CPAN Classification Proposal

Microsoft Editing Macros

Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft decides to use Richard Stallman's Emacs as the basis of his company's state-of-the-art product Microsoft Editing Macros™ Enterprise Edition XP .NET Professional. However since MS Editing Macros™ is a commercial, proprietary program which he intends to sell at computer stores, Bill is not going to upload it to the CPAN. He builds upon Emacs, sends patches to Richard and learns a lot about it.

When he's finished building Microsoft Editing Macros™ he surfs to the Emacs homepage on CPAN, and adds some categories and tags of his own.

Eventually, enough people like Bill tag and categorise Emacs, and it gains more classification.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Functional Spec for the CPAN Classification Proposal

Assign Named $foo and $bar

LeoNerd	I feel there must be a way to do this... given func( foo => 1, bar => 2 ); how to write my ( $foo, $bar ) = .... inside the function?
LeoNerd	My current attempt is my ( $foo, $bar ) = @{{@_}}{qw( foo bar )}; which is messy as sin
icke	LeoNerd: what's the problem? readability?
LeoNerd	Yah
dazjorz	LeoNerd: I'd change specs to be func({ foo => 1, bar => 2})
dazjorz	then my ($foo, $bar) = ($_[0]{foo}, $_[0]{bar});
ton	Leonerd: If you insist on doing it on one line, that's about as good as it gets. But why not use a temporary hash ? Should be just as fast and as readable
LeoNerd	Hrm.. :/ Then it's only marginally nicer as my ( $foo, $bar ) = @{$_[0]}{qw( foo bar )};
LeoNerd	my %args = @_; my ( $foo, $bar ) = @args{qw( foo bar )}; ya... that works
mst	LeoNerd: my ($foo, $bar) = do { my %a = @_; @a{qw(foo bar)} };
ton	if you combine it with a delete you can then check if %args is empty and catch typos or unexpected arguments....
LeoNerd	Oooh.. a do block
vincent	or use padwalker
LeoNerd	Oh, args won't be empty... this is a wrapper function that pulls a few named args off and sends the rest to a nested inner function
LeoNerd	Now.. I want to call a function "foreach" but that breaks things... suggestions?
icke	a method could be named 'foreach'
LeoNerd	Ya.. but this is a plain function
icke	tough
LeoNerd	I suppose "iterate" is about as best as I'll get
icke	for_each
ton	LeoNerd: forall ?
LeoNerd	I'll think on it overnight maybe.. I guess it's home time now
icke	foreachandeverysingleone
ton	forever, forfun, forlorn...
vincent	FOREACH
icke	boo
LeoNerd	one_for $all and $all for @one;
rindolf	forevery?
rindolf	<LeoNerd> one_for $all and $all for @one; - heh
rindolf	$one for @all and @all for @one
rindolf	$one for @all and @all for @$one
rindolf	$one for @all and @all for $one
rindolf	Works too.
LeoNerd	Hrm.. it does?
LeoNerd	deparse: $one for @all and @all for $one
buubot	LeoNerd: Error: syntax error at (eval 107195) line 1, near "@all for "
LeoNerd	You can't use two postmod fors in a single statement

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Syntax Fun

The func

as841	Hi, i am doing a print $drh->func('createdb',$database,"localhost","root",$password,'admin'); but getting this Can't call method "func" on an undefined value
as841	could anyone point me in the right direction ?
Yaakov	o/~ Ow we want the func / Give up the func / Ow we need the func / We gotta have that func o/~ </drforr>
rindolf	We got the func!
rindolf	Forget the fee func, we've got the see func!
as841	wtf?
as841	did i launch a movement or what ?
Yaakov	What the func?!

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The func

More Than One Way for a Cat to Paw

* f00li5h	paws at dazjorz
dazjorz	f00li5h! :)
f00li5h	how goes it?
dazjorz	it goes very fine. :)
* pkrumins	f00s at pawlish
* f00li5h	pkrums at pawkrumins
pkrumins	f00li5h, thank you sir! =^_^=
f00li5h	dazjorz: I am quite well
* dazjorz	li5hes at f00paw
* dazjorz	rins at pawdolf... man, I could go on forever.
pkrumins	haha
pkrumins	pawdolf
* pkrumins	dazes at pawjorz
* dazjorz	gumbys at .. oh well
* pkrumins	paws at GumbyBRAIN
GumbyBRAIN	Ik paws at gumbybrain.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	More Than One Way for a Cat to Paw

Looking Back at Your Old Habits

rindolf	"Who's the idiot that wrote this code?"
rindolf	That's what many people say when looking at their old code.
jkauffman	"I can't believe I used to listen to this crap"
jkauffman	that's what people say when they look back at their old music collection
rindolf	jkauffman: I don't usually.
rindolf	jkauffman: I am however, a bit ashamed of some of the shows I liked when I was younger.
rindolf	jkauffman: they seem a bit cheesy now.
jkauffman	yes, you're onto such better things now that you can fully appreciate the gilmore girls
rindolf	jkauffman: you can never really appreciate The Gilmore Girls until you've watched it in the original Klingon.

Channel	#perlcafe
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Looking Back at Your Old Habits

Bit by bit

Similian	is there a smart way to read a file to a certain string bit by bit ?
Similian	which loop to use?
rindolf	Similian: you can read it byte by byte.
rindolf	Similian: do you want to read the whole thing?
Similian	no
Similian	too big 200 MB
simcop2387-lab	reading bit by bit is usually not supported by most operating systems
rindolf	Similian: then do you want to read one byte at a time?
ik	or one line at a time?
Similian	guess a line would be better
rindolf	simcop2387-lab: it is on my rindolfOS running on Intel 1001.
rindolf	Which was a 1-bit processor.
ik	heh
ik	I had a half-bit processor
ik	it just stored ones
danieldg	ik: that would be a zero-bit processor then
ik	no no
danieldg	half-bit processor stores 0's or sqrt(2)'s
ik	sqrt(2) may as well be 1
simcop2387-lab	rindolf: a 1 bit processor would be a hell of a thing to work with
danieldg	not if you can't test it unless it's one
ik	We're not talking about numbers, we're talking about on and off, true and false, whatever you want to call it
ik	sqrt(2) is nonzero, so it's one.
rindolf	danieldg: not 1/sqrt(2)?
danieldg	hmm it would probably be that, yes
simcop2387-lab	my proc uses sqrt[-1]!
ik	may as well
danieldg	ik: think quantum computers. It tests true with probability 1/sqrt(2)
ik	I'm not talking about a quantum computer..
danieldg	well a 1/2 bit computer clearly can't be classical

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Bit by bit

Log Analyser in Haskell

rindolf	whoppix: what's up?
whoppix	rindolf, haskelling through the night.
rindolf	whoppix: ah.
whoppix	rindolf, im pretty much a beginner, tho.
rindolf	whoppix: yes, I learned Haskell back at the time.
rindolf	whoppix: I tried to write a log analyser in Haskell once.
rindolf	whoppix: it segfaulted.
rindolf	whoppix: a CL-one was much better.
Caelum	rindolf: haha
whoppix	sadness
rindolf	whoppix: then people showed me how to write it better.
rindolf	whoppix: but it segfaulted too.
whoppix	haha
Caelum	hahaha
Zoffix	lol
rindolf	whoppix: I gave up on using Haskell for production.
Caelum	rindolf: I've submitted your story to bash.org

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Log Analyser in Haskell

Best Kind of Bugs

rindolf	perlmonkey2: I've ran into a strange problem with CMake. It's some kind of bug that disappears after running a few commands.
perlmonkey2	rindolf: heh, the best kind of bugs are intermittant and only happen under load :P
rindolf	perlmonkey2: it's not load.
daemon	The best kind of bugs are the ones that do not happen at all :)
rindolf	daemon: heh.
rindolf	daemon++
Altreus	The best kind of bugs are the ones that only happen to people you hate.
perlmonkey2	hahahaha
Altreus	Those aren't usually bugs
Altreus	>:)
daemon	Altreus, you mean the ones you coded to happen to that said person ;)
daemon	hehe
Altreus	Not being able to reproduce strange behaviour is fine too

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Best kind of bugs

Really Extreme Programming

rindolf	cl0ud: what's up?
cl0ud	rindolf: just getting ready for work on this drizzly day
cl0ud	rindolf: and feeling great
cl0ud	rindolf: you?
rindolf	cl0ud: sending an email to the Extreme Programming mailing list.
ik	xtreme
ik	rindolf: tell them that in order to be truly extreme, they need to ditch their pair-programming buddy system and start programming with spent ammunition and unexploded shells
rindolf	ik: heh.
rindolf	Extremist Programming
ik	haha
rindolf	Ik-stremist Programming.
ik	:o
ispy_	What about Psycho Coding?
ispy_	:)
ispy_	PSYCoder <--- cool name for an editor :)
cl0ud	Psychaudit <- memory tester
rindolf	Neuraudit
ispy_	Hahah

Channel	#perlcafe
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Really Extreme Programming

"You should shoot me"

Larry: final exams are on Tuesday and through Friday, so you won't see me for a while, or if you do - then you should shoot me.

Shlomi: I Will shoot you with my cross-intertubes-laser-gun.

Larry: HAHAHA.

Shlomi: Which I don't have.

Larry: Which network topology will you implement, for better accuracy ?

Shlomi: I'll just depend on the standard TCP/IP routing. Overlay the laser on top of the TCP packets.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	IM Chat with Larry

The IRC-Based UNIX Shell

* Zoffix	&
^Quiddity	Zoffix: fg
apeiron	^Quiddity, no
apeiron	kill %1
rindolf	kill -9 apeiron
apeiron	rindolf, EPERM
^Quiddity	kill: apeiron: arguments must be process or job IDs
rindolf	apeiron: sudo kill -9 apeiron
^Quiddity	killall -9 apeiron
rindolf	pkill -9 apeiron
apeiron	rindolf, user rindolf is not in the sudoers file, this event will be reported
* apeiron	wonders what it says about him that he has that error message pretty much memorized
^Quiddity	apeiron: that you don't spend enough time issuing commands correctly

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The IRC-Based UNIX Shell

Retardedness

rindolf	mst: sorry for that - that was not my intention.
mst	rindolf: I know it wasn't. you aren't that retarded. but the way your comment came across was :)
rindolf	mst: yes.
rindolf	mst++
rindolf	mst: "you aren't that retarded." - you shouldn't insult my retardedness (sp?). I worked all my life to be so retarded.
Altreus	I think you can spell made-up words like 'retardedness' however you like
carpftb	if you're a retard.
Botje	heh
Botje	working hard is the exact opposite of retardedness :]
Altreus	hardly working

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Retardedness

God gave us…

God gave us two eyes and ten fingers so we will type five times as much as we read.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

Only wimps complain about bad code

Only wimps complain about bad code. Real men clean it up.

Shlomi Fish

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

How to name a new Flickr-module

jfroebe	trying to come up with a replacement name for my Flickr::Simple2.. (it is based off of XML::Simple rather than XML::Parser::Lite::Tree) - Net::Flickr, Flickr::API, Flickr::Simple are already taken. Any ideas? I'm coming up blank for a name
jfroebe	It is a Perl interface to Flickr
mofino	wait
rindolf	jfroebe: ah, I saw your message on Chicago.pm
rindolf	jfroebe: maybe WWW::Flickr
mofino	you found others and decided you needed to make ANOTHER perl interface to flickr?
jfroebe	the other ones have been broken for a long time (either because of use of the abandoned XML::Parser::Lite::Tree module or because the authentication method was never correctly implemented)
buu	jfroebe: Please no more names involving ::Simple
rindolf	buu: ::Tiny
jfroebe	WWW::Flickr is a good possibility
buu	Thanks rindolf.
mofino	hah tiny is the new simple
rindolf	::Minimal.
buu	::SeriouslyfuckingSmall
rindolf	::NotEnough
rindolf	::GargantuanlySmall
rindolf	::Minuscule
apeiron	::Warning::Uses::XML::Simple::And::Thus::Has::Terrible::Performance::And::Memory::Usage
Fah	::Deficient
mofino	stay in the Flickr:: space
rindolf	apeiron++
mofino	if there already is one
jfroebe	mofino.. that's the problem what to name it
nadim	::Nano
nadim	that should be small enough and it sounds serious
mofino	jfroebe, something in Flickr:: ;)
rindolf	::Femto
jfroebe	lol - understood
mofino	jfroebe, ::Improved ::Modern ::Lite ::Tiny ::FUCKYEAH
rindolf	jfroebe: a Rose by any other name...
mofino	IS A DUCK
rindolf	I think half the posts to module-authors are about "How shall I name this module?"
mofino	haha
ik	I use perlmonks for that ^_^
rindolf	jfroebe: I'm not a fan of XML::Simple either.
mofino	XML::Simple is teh awesome
ik	1;
ik	XML::Simple is teh sux
mofino	whatever
ik	"this could be an arrayref or a hashref or a nothingref depending on how many thingies were in your doo-dad"
mofino	force it
ik	yes
mofino	but yeah, that is a bit annoying
rindolf	ik++ - my thoughts exactly.
mofino	OH SUDDEN HASHREF
apeiron	XML::Simple is the MySQL of XML parsers.
mofino	haha
mofino	ahh mysql, DOOOMED
rindolf	Haha # apeiron++
kent\n	lol @ > apeiron
drforr	There's a reason it's called "Simple." You'll find out about 3 days after you start using it.
kent\n	would it be anything releated to being feature-incomplete
drforr	That would be be why it's "simple".
jfroebe	but for simple XML data (i.e. Flickr's REST API), it is more than sufficient
kent\n	define "simple" XML
kent\n	$xml = '<' # already too complex
jfroebe	kent - lol
jfroebe	:)
jfroebe	thoughts on Flickr::YA::API ?
jfroebe	for a name
mofino	jfroebe, YA?
jfroebe	yet another
mofino	...
mofino	just pick a name
mofino	Flickr::API
mofino	oh, nevermind
jfroebe	mofino - now you see.. all the good ones are taken ;-)
mofino	maybe you had it at Flickr::Simple2
kent\n	Flickr::API:: something
kent\n	or something
mofino	kent\n, namespace already in use
rindolf	Flickr::Two
mofino	jfroebe, since your API is an improvement over Simple
nadim	mst: lol
kent\n	Flickr::API::SucksLess
rindolf	jfroebe: you can call it Flickr::Jfroebey
jfroebe	mofino, I think you might be right.
kent\n	Flicker::API::FAFINAFA
jfroebe	rindolf - lol ... my head is already big enough lol
mofino	jfroebe, i mean, if that's what it is, it shows a clear progression from Simple
kent\n	( Flicker::API::FAFINAFA is not a flickr api )
nadim	Flicker::rekcilF
rindolf	jfroebe: I have released Spork::Shlomify with some random changes to Spork that I needed.
rindolf	Well, I use subclassing to implement them.
jfroebe	lmao
apeiron	You forked that spork!
rindolf	apeiron: it's not a fork! It's an improved spork!
rindolf	Flickr::Bettr
kent\n	Flickr::Strobe
kent\n	( its a bit brighter )
kent\n	Flickr::OnAndOff
nadim	Flickr::FullBeam
nadim	Flickr::FullLights
kent\n	Flickr::2009
mofino	Flickr::Meat
kent\n	that way somebody will be able to invent something better next year
kent\n	and call it Flickr::2010
mofino	Flickr::rkcilF
mofino	Flickr::Barbie::Edition
mofino	Flickr::Nuts
nadim	Flickr::3b0f3a25d07e5d9dbdf98db15ee70410 (and no, it is not random)
mofino	Flickr::911wasaninsidejob
nadim	hehe
mofino	haha
jfroebe	thanks guys :) I've requested the Flickr::Simple2 namespace via pause

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	"A rose by any other name…" (and a little on XML::Simple)

Whatever

Mel\|work	Yaakov: icke==troll?
rindolf	Mel\|work: no, he's not a troll.
Yaakov	Mel\|work: No, icke is just... enthusiastic about "channel purity"
Mel\|work	k....
* rindolf	hates when people abuse the == operator in English for "contained in"
apeiron	rindolf, "icke contained in troll"? That's not what Mel\|work meant.
tarbo	sure he did, if you make troll a set of users
rindolf	apeiron: what he meant by icke == troll is that icke belongs to the set of trolls.
rindolf	apeiron: not that every troll in the world is icke.
apeiron	rindolf, No, he was asking if icke is a troll.
icke	$icke->isa('Troll');
icke	(false)
rindolf	apeiron: is-a means "contained in the set of objects with the property of"
rindolf	apeiron: mathematically speaking.
apeiron	rindolf, Okay, so you're assigning the mathematical meaning of == to its usage in a perl channel?
apeiron	rindolf, Now who's fiddling with meanings, eh?
rindolf	apeiron: whatever.
apeiron	'whatever' is what those who have lost their argument say.
rindolf	apeiron: whatever.
apeiron	^ QED
rindolf	apeiron: whatever.
PerlJam	apeiron: I thought that's what people who don't care say.
apeiron	PerlJam, If one doesn't care, they wouldn't respond.
PerlJam	apeiron: whatever
PerlJam	;-)
rindolf	LOL.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Whatever

Dishsort

rindolf	My father and I joked about sorting the dishes in the dishwasher.
rindolf	My father said: "If you won't sort the dishwasher, the dishwasher won't be sorted."
Loci64	rindolf: bubble sort g
icke	dishsort
rindolf	Then I said "No, it won't be sorted by me."
rindolf	So he said "No, it won't be sorted at all. We will throw the dishwasher."
rindolf	"Along with all the dishes."
rindolf	Loci64: bubble sort is inefficient.
rindolf	Loci64: you should use quicksort or mergesort.
whoppix	or bashsort, or heapsort!
icke	yeah, but thorough.
rindolf	Loci64: or for small values of "N" - insertion sort.
whoppix	although I can't remember if those were stable.
rindolf	whoppix: what is bashsort?
icke	that matters for a dishwasher
EvanCarroll	/bin/sort
EvanCarroll	duh
Loci64	hehe, but dishwashers usually have medium to large numbers of N ;-) maybe trashsort solves the problem
rindolf	EvanCarroll: perldoc -f sort is more portable.
whoppix	rindolf, shellsort, not bashsort, sorry :)
rindolf	But I'll need to build a robot to use it with the dishes.
icke	cshsort
EvanCarroll	here must be a trillion sorting algos
EvanCarroll	and 9/10 of them are total shit
EvanCarroll	and inferior in every way.
EvanCarroll	This sorting algorithem is coveted if you KNOW that only one value is out of perfect order and it sits in the second to last position of the input.

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	dishsort

Good scalar localtime()

rindolf	Good localtime(), #perl!
sproingie	rindolf: good scalar localtime to you
rindolf	sproingie: oooh! scalar context.
sproingie	well i didn't want to make ya parse it
rindolf	sproingie: it is implied however.
sproingie	(er unparse it)
rindolf	Good strftime($format, localtime()).
rindolf	But better use DateTime.
rindolf	Or something.
icke	sub good ($$$) { ... }
rindolf	icke: yes.
rindolf	eval: good localtime(), #perl!
buubot3	rindolf: ERROR: syntax error at (eval 21) line 1, near "good localtime"
Altreus	eval: 'hi rindolf how is your '.scalar localtime.'?'
buubot3	Altreus: hi rindolf how is your Tue Mar 10 15:43:13 2009?
rindolf	Altreus: how is my Tuesday, 10-March-2009?
rindolf	Altreus: or do you mean down right to that exact second.
Altreus	rindolf: I gave you as much information as I could for you to use as you see fit.
Altreus	If you don't need it all you can just take the date

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Good scalar localtime()

The Module::Build Saga

rindolf	The Module::Build saga goes on!
mst	Module::Build isn't a saga, it's a fucking horror series

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	Module::Build

.om

rindolf	ljuwaidah: so aren't there more people who use FOSS in Oman?
ljuwaidah	there are, but they're only a few
rindolf	ljuwaidah: ah.
rindolf	Oman has .om as its TLD.
rindolf	.om .nom .nom
rindolf	p.om p.om
rindolf	kabo.om
rindolf	DJB got the cr.yp.to domain.
rindolf	And there's also ali.as which is Adam Kennedy's.
ljuwaidah	looool
ljuwaidah	rand.om :P
ljuwaidah	do.om :P
ljuwaidah	ro.om
ljuwaidah	m.om
Black_Phoenix	your.m.om
ljuwaidah	hahahaha
ljuwaidah	is that supposed to be a milf site? :P
rindolf	yahoo.c.om
ljuwaidah	bro.om
rindolf	http://yourmom.com/
rindolf	Though it's down now.
ljuwaidah	don't keep your hopes up on .om domains
ljuwaidah	our ISP is a greedy money sucker
rindolf	"I'd rather be a .com than a .om"
ljuwaidah	rindolf: me too
rindolf	ljuwaidah: this was a joke.
rindolf	I have a few .org domains.
rindolf	From GoDaddy
ljuwaidah	unless you need it for a domain trick
* Black_Phoenix	<--- .com bastard here
ljuwaidah	rindolf: where's the joke?
rindolf	ljuwaidah: joke?
rindolf	ljuwaidah: it rhymes.
rindolf	dot-com, dot-om - get it? get it? get it?
rindolf	;-)
ljuwaidah	no :(
rindolf	ljuwaidah: om rhymes with com.
ljuwaidah	so?
rindolf	ljuwaidah: "I'd rather be a dot-com than a dot-om"
rindolf	ljuwaidah: it's just a silly rhyme.
Black_Phoenix	I'd rather a website
rindolf	Black_Phoenix: I accidentally a web-site.
ljuwaidah	I still don't get the joke
Black_Phoenix	rindolf, I'd still rather a blog
rindolf	Black_Phoenix: rather what a blog?
Black_Phoenix	Website a blog
rindolf	ljuwaidah: never mind.
ljuwaidah	sorry, I don't know why I'm slow today
rindolf	Black_Phoenix: do you mean that you would rather be a web-site?
Black_Phoenix	I'd rather website a blog
Black_Phoenix	broken grammar time :D
ljuwaidah	Black_Phoenix: when did website become a verb?
Black_Phoenix	it didn't
Black_Phoenix	I'm using it as a verb to produce nonsense
ljuwaidah	I sense light!
ljuwaidah	{I see}
rindolf	ljuwaidah: http://www.google.com.om/
ljuwaidah	rindolf: I know
rindolf	If Google can do it - so can you.
ljuwaidah	I don't use it
ljuwaidah	'cause some services don't work on it
rindolf	ljuwaidah: ah.
rindolf	ljuwaidah: in any case, seems like one can register a .com.om domain.

Channel	##programming
Network	Freenode
Tagline	The .om domain

Wikipedia has…

Wikipedia has a page about everything including the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchen_sink .

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	Aphorisms Collection

With what to write code?

Quetzalcoatl_	How do I write a computer vision program in C on a microcontroller?
dyf	Quetzalcoatl_: with a text editor?
Quetzalcoatl_	Hmm.. Never thought of that. But which editor? Is Notepad good enough?
mauke	no, you need at least Wordpad
rindolf	mauke: I suggest MS Word or at least OpenOffice.org
rindolf	mauke: but in order to really be able to write well, you need a desktop publishing program like Scribus or Adobe FrameMaker.
* rindolf	wonders which compiler will accept PDFs as input.
waiting	rindolf: /usr/bin/pdftotext
rindolf	waiting: and pray.
rindolf	There's an estoric programming language called Piet (I think) that accepts images as input.

Channel	##programming
Network	Freenode
Tagline	How to write stylistic code

Hack, hack, hack…

shlomif: hack, hack, hack ; save ; make ; make test; commit. And start over.

mrjink:hack, hack, hack; save; make; swear; fix typos; save; make; make test; swear some more; hack some more; save; make; make test; cheer; commit.

meep: hack, make, test, segfault, oh noes, revert to previous revision

Author	Shlomi Fish and Others
Work	On Plurk.

Threat vs. Warning

Well, it's not a threat - it's a warning, and he won't be harmed much by acting against my advice. A threat is something like "Stop posting political posts or I will burn your house, rape your wife and daughters, banish you to the middle of Antarctica, convert all your Perl code to PHP, and then post it on thedailywtf.com."

Regarding what you say that "no one cares if you unsubscribe", then this reminds me of what Fred Brooks says in "The Mythical Man-Month": "How does a project becomes late? One day at a time.". If you're not careful, you might lose a large percent of your blog's readership, one subscriber at a time.

Author	Shlomi Fish
Work	use.perl.org comment

How to say IP?

Altreus	Hmm I should have checked the licence on Inline::Lua
dwu	orochi_: licence it and people will steal it anyway :)
Yaakov	Well, you can try to steal that, but it would be like a mouse stealing a battle tank.
dwu	Altreus: you mean acronym?
Altreus	Perl license
Altreus	dwu: n
Altreus	IP is not pronounced as a word so it is not an acronym.
Altreus	At least not in the original meaning of the word: which is the only meaning given by a majority of dictionaries
Yaakov	Yes, it's not a true acronym, though the word now has that baggage.
orochi_	Ip Ip Ip!
Altreus	ni!
* orochi_	runs away
dwu	Altreus: i say ip... :)
Yaakov	IP would be an abbreviation.
dwu	also, initials? but isms are cool.
rindolf	I see Eye.Pea.
dwu	oooh yes.
dwu	and dead people?
* rindolf	is listening to Sesame Street - Yip Yip Martians
Altreus	dwu: Intent is involved; just because you say it as a word does not mean it was meant to be said as a word ;)
Altreus	wikipedia knows about it, and has like a million sauces cited
Altreus	mostly dictionaries
Yaakov	YAPC is an acronymic moniker! BE THERE
dwu	Altreus: well absolutement :) also, yumy, i like bernaise.
rindolf	I say* Eye.Pea.
dwu	hrrrm, the oxford cream dictionary. nomnomnom
dwu	rindolf: awww.
ne2k__	Eye.Pea.Freely
rindolf	dwu: heh
ne2k__	no-one says "ip", everyone says "Eye Pea"
Altreus	Ip address
dwu	rindolf: can you just -say- dead people, for the heck of it?
rindolf	Yip address
dwu	ne2k__: provably false. i need an ip address, stat!
Altreus	yiff address?
rindolf	dwu: I say dead people.
dwu	<3 rindolf
rindolf	dwu: I say.
dwu	you do :)
Altreus	I say I say I say
rindolf	dwu: :-)
ne2k__	dwu: you can't stat an ip address, only a file

Channel	#perl
Network	Freenode
Tagline	How to say IP?

External resources

Humour Section Menu

Shlomi Fish's Quotes as Fortunes Cookies

The shlomif Fortune Collection

Table of Contents

The Fortunes Themselves

I don't Believe in Fairies

The prefix "God Said"

A Jewish Deduction

I Used to be Arrogant

Murphy's Law

Microsoft's Slogan

Linux - Because Software Problems...

The American Lottery

"Shit Happens" - 1

Shit Happens - 2

Interpret the Past

Computer Science and C Programming

Sarah Michelle Gellar's Next Movie

Objective Philosophy…

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" - 1

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" - 2

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 3

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 4

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 4

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 5

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 6

A more experienced programmer…

Microsoft Notepad

WYSIWYT - Documentation Improvement

If A is A and A is not not-A…

I know I'm blond...

"Knuth is not God!" - 1

"Knuth is not God!" - 2

Taking a Turing Test

IGLU Cabal and the Turing Test

"Knuth is not God!" - 3

"Knuth is not God!" - 4

"Knuth is not God!" - 5

Patenting the TINIC

C++ and Object-Oriented Programming

If it was not Clear

Hi, Sophie!

Crazy Opinions

Corollary of Godwyn's Law

Keeping an Idea to Yourself

An Apple a Day

You are banished!

Foreign Languages

What happened to Christopher Michael Pilato?

Teaching a Computer to Laugh

In Philosophy, as much as in software engineering

HURD is Lacking in Developers

He has a high degree of…

I expected that this patch won't go in so easily

sleep-fu

Contributing to #gimp

Girly Men

If his programming…

Documentation for BL

Hacker Sees Bug

Tcl is Lisp on Drugs…

95% of Programmers

Too Girly

C++ is…

Blogging Memes

Did anybody see my newline at Freenode's #perl channel.

Verbing the verb on Freenode's #perl

Becoming Crazy

Discussing living with one's parents on IRC.

Moses-the-Smiley

The First Phrase that needs to be Taught

Re-inventing the Wheel

Better Alternative

Good Student vs. Bad Student

Real Programmers Don't Write

Jewish Atheists

Human XML

/me (or I, you or we) is finding it amusing on Freenode's #perl.

Multi-linguality