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Humanity - The Movie
[
Note: This screenplay was written by Shlomi Fish, and is original artwork.
]
Voice: Earth - the initial frontier. Somewhere in the depths of space, on a
remote planet you know as Earth, came up a relatively uncommon phenomenon:
Civilization. What it means is that intelligent,
[
A text on the screen with a beep - (?)
]
[
A text on the screen with the same beep - (?)
]
[
A text on the screen with a different beep - (!)
]
Voice: Like I said, intelligent, conscious, people formed cities and countries,
with a technology that became more and more advanced in time.
Voice: In this motion picture, we will take a typical city of this civilization
in its beginning, and examine its dominant elements.
[
As the voice continues to narrate, the Earth comes to focus somewhere around
Palestine and the Eastern Jordan Side
]
[
An Altar is shown with a priest standing nearby and several people
around him bringing goats, sheep, etc.
]
The Priest: Next, next, who’s next?
The Priest: Hey Joseph! You’ve been here last… two weeks ago, right?
The Priest: OK. Tell me what you’ve been from then up to now?
Joseph: Well, I did a lot of good deeds: I helped my friends, taught my
children a few things... the works.
The Priest: Excellent. Did you do anything that could have appeased any of the
Gods?
Joseph: To protect a friend.
The Priest: Well, the god of Honesty is mad at you and the god of friendship
is happy from you. They are equal in rank, and so they will sort it out between the
two of them.
Joseph: I also broke a pot my wife prepared. A very nice pot, by the way.
The Priest: That’s not good - you have made both the goddess of pottery and
the goddess of marriage a little angry. You did not do it on purpose?
The Priest: OK. I’d say we could take two legs of the sheep you brought
each for these two godesses. And we’ll take the rest for the rest of the
Gods and for eating. By the way, [Loudly] everyone should know that
four days from now, I’m going to hold the festival of all the minor
Gods that no-one ever remembers. I’m going to read the list of all
the 2,100 of them as the central event of it.
The Crowd: “No, forget it!”, “No Way I’m going to attend that!”, etc.
The Priest: OK. I can have 10 people each read 210 entries.
A person from the crowd: How about 20?
The Priest: Super. Like I said, 20 people will each read 105 entries, so be
there.
[
A typical Semitic market with lots of commotion. Eventually, the
camera focuses on a salesman trying to sell a very large fish, for the
price of two Shekels. (This is too much money - we need a more
reasonable price.)
Eventually, there comes a loud sound of drumming and percussion instruments,
and a singer appears in the clearance, and starts singing, while waving a
medium-sized fish:
]
Performer: Buy the fish,
Buy the fish,
Who wants to buy the fish?
Buy the fish,
Buy the fish,
Buy the fish now.
Performer: Buy the fish,
Buy the fish,
Who wants to buy the fish?
Buy the fish,
Buy the fish,
Buy the fish now.
Shouts from the crowd: “3 Shekels”, “4 Shekels”.
[
Cut to the original fishmonger, he looks amazed
]
Performer: If you want prepare a dish,
you have got to buy the fish,
so everybody, save your keesh,
Everybody - buy the fish!
Shouts from the crowd: “5 Shekels”, “6 Shekels”.
The Singer: Sold for 6 Shekels.
[
Eventually the commotion clears up, and the fishmonger with the large fish,
starts to shout again:
]
Fishmonger: One large fish! Two Shekels! One large fish! Two Shekels!
One large fish! Two Shekels!
[
The Well is shown. Three women (Vered, Meirav and Hadas) are standing
nearby with large pots near them. They are chatting.
]
Meirav: So I was saying to Berta: look, we can’t possibly make this
any harder.
Hadas: I understand what you mean.
[
Vered looks straight at the camera. She moves towards it, and eventually
looks very close at it.
]
Vered: Nah…
Vered: Hey, you know? I always have the feeling that someone is watching us
and recording everything we do with a device, that allows a playback of it.
Hadas: Vered, we always get this feeling. Now, basically what I was saying…
Vered: But of course it is impossible with our current technological state.
But what if someone built a time machine... Herrrgh, Maybe I’m just paranoid.
Meirav: Vered, why do you have to talk about philosophy all the time? Why
can’t you gossip and talk about nonsense?
Vered: I hate gossip, and I hate nonsense.
Vered: It is about time you arrived.
Hadas: Yeah. It takes 3 of you to move this stone but at least 6 of us.
Man #1: Well, that’s life.
Man #2: Yeah, who is John Galt?
Vered: I never understood this expression. Oh well, who is John Galt?
Man #1: OK. Let’s move it.
Man #2: You know, I heard of a guy called Moses who could move a stone like
this all by himself.
The Inventor’s Voice from outside the frame: That’s because he was using the
Mosesium 3000!
Man #3: I beg your pardon?
[
The Inventor enters the frame with his invention, which looks suspiciously
like a lever.
]
The Inventor: With this ingenious invention, one man can move this stone
all by himself. Wanna try?
The Inventor: OK. First we tie the stone to the ropes here.
The Inventor: Now lift the other hand.
Man #1: [After lifting the stone.] Wow, it’s so easy! Look, I can move the
stone here [moves it to the left], and here [ moves it to the right].
The Inventor: No! No! Don’t misuse it.
[
The stone falls down on the well, splits into two pieces which both fall down
the well. The men are amazed.
]
The Inventor: Don’t worry! I can get down and tie the ropes to each stone and
we can lift them up in a flash...
Man #1: I’ll get the ropes.
Man #2: I’ll get the horses.
[
They leave the frame.
]
The Inventor: This is not my day.
[
Long shot of the wall with its wall-side houses.
]
Tour Guide: Everybody come here, come here.
[
A group of tourists enters the frame.
]
Tour Guide: We are now on the wall. The wall is one of the most important
parts of the city. A city cannot exist without a wall. Therefore, it can
be said that “The Wall Exists”.
Tourist #1: I beg your pardon?
Tourist #1: Does the wall exist in the same way that “Existence Exists”?
Tour Guide: No. The Wall Exists, therefore Existence Exists.
[
A shot of the gate fades into the screen. Two guards are standing there.
]
Guard #1: You know. Almost nothing ever happens around here. Most of the
day nothing happens. And occasionally a merchant or a traveller comes and
wishes to enter the city. So we charge him money, and he enters the town.
And we hardly ever remember him.
Guard #2: Well, it’s a dirty job and somebody’s got to do it. Hey! Here comes
a merchant.
Merchant: Hi! I’d like to enter this city and remain here for a day or two.
Guard #1: Fine by me. That would be one Shekel, please.
Merchant: One Shekel! You must be mad. What possible things could this town
have anyway?
Guard #1: Well, it has a Cathedral, a Bazaar, a couple of wells, a Wall, this
Gate - the works.
Merchant: I have a feeling that I’ll regret ever entering this town, but
whatever.
Guard #1: As the son of Gileg, I guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.
Merchant: Do you mean that you are the son of Gileg - that pitiful son of Ham?
Guard #1: Gileg is not the son of Ham; he is the son of Shem. And you are the
son of whom, by any chance?
Merchant: The son of Emor, why?
Guard #1: You are a son of Emor, who was Ham’s child, therefore I hate
your guts.
Merchant: No, you are a son of Gileg, who was Ham’s child, therefore I hate
your guts.
[
They start to fight. Only unclear verbal violence.
]
Guard #1: [Raises his hand.] Tell you what, let’s settle it by saying that I hate
you and you hate me?
Merchant: But we are cool, right?
[
An Egyptian Merchant comes by.
]
Egyptian Merchant: I could not help but hear your conversation. If I
had accepted this Semite family tree, I would have to say that Ham was the
most noble son of Noah.
[
Guard No. 1 and the Merchant turn to look at each other. They are puzzled.
]
Merchant: So you hate both of us, and we both hate you?
Merchant: But we’re cool?
Guard #2: OK, let’s cut this family matters fight. You, please pay him a
Shekel. And you, the proud son of Ham, please state your affairs at this
town.
[
Long shot of a street, two neighbours are talking. One of them is Gideon.
]
[
The conversation goes on. While in it a young man walks down the street
three times. In the third time, Gideon asks him.
]
Gideon: Excuse me: I noticed you are constantly walking down that street. May
I ask why?
Young man: Really? It’s just that I’m from a different neighbourhood and I
just thought that if I turn left all the time Inll scan the whole
neighbourhood.
Gideon: No, this won’t work. You see: if you turn left here [shows with his
hand], go along the street, and then turn left here, [the young man turns his
head around], and then left here [again, he twists his head], and here, you’ll
be in the same place where you started.
Young man: Of course! But wait a second - I remember an in-genius algorithm
by my cousin, Daniel…
Gideon: You mean the crazy inventor whose invention clogged up our well today?
Young man: Yeah! Anyway he said that you just have to put your hand on the
wall, like this [ puts his hand on the right wall relative to the camera ] and
then by keeping it on the same wall, you’ll go throughout the entire maze. I’ll
do it, thanks! [He starts to walk.]
Gideon: Hold on! It won’t work.
Gideon: Because this block is surrounded by four streets, and you’ll end up
going around it again and again. Again.
Young man: [Thinks about it for a moment.] You’re right. Daniel said something
about it, and he said he had an improved algorithm, that did not have this
limitation…
Gideon: Wanna hear my algorithm?
Young man: [Thinks for a moment.] That could work. Do you know where Yossef
Ben-Dov lives?
Gideon: Sure! Right here. [ He points to a nearby house. ]
Young man: Great! Thanks. [He walks there.]
[
Gideon and his neighbour continue to talk.
]
The Town Council (the final episode)
City Head: OK. Here we are for our monthly town council. Is anything on
the agenda?
[
The Inventor raises his hand.
]
The Inventor: Life sucks.
City Head: Can you elaborate on the subject?
The Inventor: I just invented the lever, 300 years before Archimedes, and
no-one seemed to have noticed. It seems like we’re not going anywhere. There’s
absolutely no advancement.
[
Other people of the city start shouting at him.
]
Person No. 1: Well, if you care so much about your invention, you can try
and show it in the capital.
Person No. 2: We live our life very fine, thank you, without any of your
inventions!
[
The crowd starts to deteriorate into one big mess of a fight.
]
The Prophet: [Shouting] Hold on!
The Prophet: I am the Prophet. I can take you to the 21st century!
Person No. 3: Really? When is it going to be?
The Prophet: About 2,500 years from now.
[
The crowd rumbles for a while.
]
City Head: You know what? We’ll give it a shot.
[
He raises his hand, everybody suddenly re-appear in a modern 21st century
city with tall buildings, and lots of cars. They are wearing modern clothes.
]
The Inventor: Wow! Tall buildings.
Person No. 2: Automatic Vehicles.
Person No. 1: Mass Production!
The Inventor: We would have never gotten this far in 2,500 years.
The Prophet: Yes, but the beauty of all this is that some things remained
the same. For instance, do you see this building?
[
Cut to a view of a stock exchange agency.
]
The Prophet: This is a cathedral. And do you see this screen over there?
[
Cut to a big T.V. Screen.
]
The Inventor: The one with the moving pictures. What about it?
The Prophet: This is a bazaar.
[
The town folks all get excited.
]
Town Folks: Wow! Tell us more! What’s the equivalent of the gate around here?
What is this?
The Prophet: This is some combination of a gate and a well…
[
A hip modern music is starting to sound and the screen fades into black.
]
[
Rehearse of part of the “Buy the Fish” scene, only in 2-D and with better
music. Eventually, the camera zooms out to view the MTV logo on a T.V. Screen
just in time to catch the fishmonger with the large fish. Then it says on
the screen:
The Performer earned double platinum for his album “Songs of the Bazaar”
with the mega-hit single “Buy the Fish”.
]
[
The Priest wrote an international best-seller titled
The Altar-native way of investing in the stock exchange.
]
[
The inventor remained an inventor. He invented the “Supremium 6000”,
the “Chuck-Chuckium 6000” and the “Semitici-tici-tacky 6000”. All those
inventions made him a millionaire.
]
[
Gideon became the chief human-machine interaction engineer of IBM.
]
[
The three well women (Vered, Meirav, and Hadas) are watching a shop’s
window sipping soft-drinks.
]
Meirav: You know, 21st century rocks.
Hadas: Yeah, I could never go back.
Vered: Of course. But, you know: who is John Galt?
Licence
Humanity - The Movie by Shlomi Fish is
licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence (or at your option any
later version of the same licence).
Based on a work at www.shlomifish.org.
Permissions beyond the scope of
this license may be available at http://www.shlomifish.org/me/contact-me/.
